So we got out of our pajamas AND EVERYTHING to go to Rand Paul’s Dumb ‘Bipartisan’ Coffee Nonsense (official title) on the steps of the Capitol, and fucking goon park police dude wouldn’t let us up because we don’t have “press” “credentials,” because of how as a CONSTITUTIONAL SCHOLAR we do not believe in the licensing of a free press. (True story. About the not believing in press credentials, we mean. Also the other part, true too.)
So, please have some pictures of the back of Rand Paul’s head! Paul, it turns out, is a wee little man, so many of our pictures were of the back of the person standing in front of him. We have saved you from those. You are welcome. Also, we will have some Thoughts on Rand Paul’s Dumb Bullshit Not A Photo Op, after the jump!
OK, here is our Thought on Rand Paul’s Dumb Bullshit Not A Photo Op: you know what else would “ratchet down” the talk and tension over the government shutdown?
Not shutting down the government every time you don’t get your way, you fucking loser.
Whoa, did we just BLOW YOUR MIND????
This is not the douchey Park police. This man was very nice. Also, does anyone happen to know him??? Oh, no reason.
Here is Rand Paul’s head again. His butt is saggy :(
Also, we got to listen to some sad reporter do the saddest of all Man On The Streets, as she tried to get an opinion from a Real Murcan about whether Democrats should be at the “bipartisan” coffee, and you could hear her desperation at realizing how fucking stupid her subject was, and how he was yahooin’ all about “why can’t they talk to each other? You can’t solve nuttin’ if-a you won’t talk!” and she was trying to explain about how the Republicans just want what they want (Barack Obama to Not Be President) without sounding like a lib, and it was so thankless.
Thank God we are not real press, ugh.
GIVE US MONEY! -