It looks like the U.S. Chamber of Commerce did not get Ted Cruz’s memo that “President” Obama is actually the one shutting down the government, because POLITICO is reporting that the Chamber has “rallied nearly 240 groups to sign a letter Friday afternoon pushing Congress to avoid a government shutdown and to move fast to raise the debt ceiling.”
Now wait just a minute, we thought it was a known known that when the government spends money, that money is poison and if a Job Creator touches it, America dies, and literally the only way that the government can help the economy is to melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew. And we thought the Chamber hated Obamacare! Politics, what is up, why are you so confusing? Could it really be true that lurching from one manufactured crisis to another while randomly (and not-so-randomly) threatening to cause another recession unless the President agrees to cut off his own dick is actually worse for businesses than a plan to provide affordable insurance for people?
No, obviously not! It’s much more likely that Obama’s jillbooted transgender Muslim FEMA thugs have infiltrated the highest levels of the Chamber of Commerce, or maybe he put drugs in their Perrier and panda blood spritzers. Does the Chamber have a Reichstag? Better check the fire extinguishers, is all we’re saying.
On the other hand, this bit sounds a lot more like the Chamber we know and loathe:
“Congress cannot continue ‘kicking the can down the road;’ it’s time to take corrective action to address the unaffordable path of entitlement spending, to stabilize federal finances and to undertake fundamental tax reform to strengthen the American economy,”
In other words: “We have found that workers will absorb more abuse and tolerate poverty wages for longer if they know they won’t get any help from the government if they’re fired. Also we would like to pay no taxes at all, please.”
In all seriousness, this letter from the CoC is perhaps the best evidence yet that the old-guard GOP and their corporate benefactors have finally lost control of the useful idiots they’ve been manipulating so successfully for so long. Nobody who has a fact-based idea of what could happen in a shutdown or — worse — a sovereign debt default wants either. But one is well on its way, and another is terrifyingly possible because most Republicans in Congress are more worried about appeasing the actual lunatics who vote in GOP primaries than doing the right thing for the country. Or they’re lunatics themselves. And what’s really great/terrible is that these lunatics are Frankenstein’s monsters stitched together by the constant lies and distortions of… the GOP, the Chamber of Commerce, and associated groups, in order to drum up support for “pro-business” policies.
Usually we like irony, but fuck.