Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Being Ugly And Vile

  ugly vile little snark mob

Scootaloo tires of your tedious tiresomenessGolly, it’s been a busy week for the ol’ comments queue! Our first offering to the goddess Deletia is from the subject of one of our recent posts, Lee Stranahan of Ghost Breitbart’s Home for Endless Rightwing Butthurt. Sad Lee haz a sad because we did not recognize that his post about Matthew Shepard’s murder was a brilliant analysis of the left’s perfidy:

I know you think it’s hip to form an ugly, vile little snark mob. Really, it’s just ugly and vile. And since you can’t actually counter the facts in my piece, it’s all straw men and bafflement. Got it. Not impressed. It’s exactly why I ran screaming from left. [sic]

He then went on to identify the particular facts that we had been ugly and vile about. (Ha-ha, we are joking you of course! He just thinks we’re ugly and vile, and a snark mob).

We also received what may be the final dribble of anger (we are dreaming) in response to our sustained correspondence with fans of the League of the South, from “connielchastain,” whose online career seems to consist of complaining that the South was completely justified in seceding in 1860 (we also heard from her in reply to one of our Sundays With the Christianists pieces on that topic). Connie was Not Pleased with the general tenor of our treatment of matters Southern:

Southern rednecks … many rungs above left-libs on the moral, intellectual, spiritual, common sense and kindness ladders.

That is a lot of ladders! Perhaps we will have to just agree to disagree about the moral and intellectual worth of racist neo-Confederate groups. But hey, if you all are up so high on those ladders, why does the South need to rise again?

Elsewhere, “TheStarsWave” wrote one of those strange replies to an article from 2010, possibly because it was just very important to remind us, three years later, that we should “never compare 9/11 to other things because you will lose and it makes you look like a douche.” Well, not to be a douche or anything, but we think maybe it’s pretty fair to draw comparisons between the 3000 who died on 9/11 and the 5000+ (and still counting) U.S. troops killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. Unless you don’t Care About The Troops, “The StarsWave”? Are you saying you don’t Care About The Troops? Damn commie.

For late-to-the-party balance, we also got an incoherent rant from some kind of greenie-weedy librul, “ares_home,” who was almost too stoned to punctuate much while raving about an article from February, in which we noted that a pro-states’-rights Idaho state senator had introduced a bill calling on the feds to strictly enforce marijuana laws in states that had legalized it:

Idaho rightwingers need treatment..not imprisonment, well,ok, maybe corporal punishment. GET THE DAMNED FEDERAL CONSTITUTION VIOLATING THUGS OUT OF MONTANA!!! (For what it’s worth several of the Repuglican MT legalization opponents were heavily invested in the pharmaceutical industry, read prescription pain killers—and protecting their narcotic profits…this research should be done on ALL rapid weed opponents, especially at campaign time, and published!) VOTE GREEN the party that has always supported legalization.

Arglebargle big pharma federal thugs! Garth, take your Ritalin! In Idaho and Montana! (We get the feeling you are from Montana, yes?) But what is this “rapid weed” that some are opposed to? Is that what the kids mean when they talk about the “speed”?

And as usual, the latest horrible mass shooting drew out an “arm-everybody for great justice” fan. This one’s calling himself “richardrider”:

This Navy shipyard madman’s attack in a “gun free zone” with a shotgun turned much more deadly when he acquired better weapons from guards. This aspect raises an issue I’ve been harping on since we started putting expensive armed guards in schools after the Sandy Hook tragedy. There is little chance a solitary uniformed armed guard can protect himself against a shooter who surprises him — shotgun, revolver, derringer, or perhaps even a knife. A madman can simply walk up to such a guard with a question, and then get the drop on him. But once the guard is neutralized, the guard’s WEAPON becomes the attacker’s weapon … Instead of posting such easily-identified, expensive guards in schools, allow qualified/approved teachers and school staff to discretely arm themselves with handguns, without publicizing who is packing. Then such an attacker knows not who is packing, and who isn’t. This uncertainty likely precludes such a “gun free” zone attack. Think this idea is outlandish? Not in Utah. Teachers there have been able to pack heat for over a dozen years. No shootings, no accidents, no problems.

Hmmm… we aren’t going to do an extensive fact-check, but a Fox News piece from December, at the height of the “arm all the teachers” buzz, has this to say:

Gun-rights advocates estimate 1 percent of Utah teachers, or 240, are licensed to carry concealed weapons. It’s not known how many do so at school.

It’s probably a larger sample than the number of blind Iowans carrying guns, but we aren’t really impressed by that “not known” data set. But yes, throwing a lot more guns into a situation would almost certainly make things better. When has it not?

And finally, a comment from “sanwin,” who felt that we were WAY OUT OF LINE for daring to say unkind things about some Dugongs or other aquatic mammals:

I thought we were free to live raise our own families in this country. The Duggars are doing what they think is best for their family and they are not forcing their beliefs on anyone else. And God doesn’t expect everyone to have 20 children. He just wants us to care for and love the children he does give us.

Except that the Duggars actually DO think that God wants everyone to have lots and lots of babbies and never any birth control, but never mind, they are free to do what they want and should never be criticized, which takes away their freedom.

But aren’t we free to write say what we want in this country? We are writing what we think is best for our blog and are not forcing our beliefs on anyone else. Why would you write a comment that disagrees, “sanwin?” Haven’t you ever hear of something called “freedom of speech”? Stop oppressing us with your words, which make it impossible for us to do freedom! This is Amercia!

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About the author

Doktor Zoom lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his pseudonym after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

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