Did you know that yr Wonkette is a very civic-minded sort of operation? Probably not! We've been thinking we really need to make sure people know about our outreach efforts and how we're working hard to do good works in our communities. That's why we've all signed on for the best neighborhood event ever: grabbing our Glock and handing out candy to children:
The group Gun Rights Across America issued a nationwide call for gun owners to stand outside their homes with firearms in their hands on October 19. The event urges the armed protesters to “pass out candy or lemonade to the kids riding their bikes, and playing in the neighborhoods.”
Honestly, we can't think of anything that better shows how safe and welcoming our neighborhood can be than rocking a visible weapon while approaching your offspring. Who wouldn't welcome us with open, peaceful, loving arms? Watch out when you hug us, though. The 9mm can sometimes get a little frisky, know what we mean? And don't worry! We'll make sure the little kidlets don't feel left out:
This is a family event too. Feel free to strap on a plastic red gun onto your children as well,” the group wrote for its Facebook event.
We don't know about you, but we can't wait for this blessed event! It will be just like Hands Across America except with accidental grievous bodily harm. Fun!
[ Think Progress ]
Pistol Packin Pedobear Across America
"When I said 'only one piece each', I FUCKING MEANT ONE PIECE, DAMMIT!