You're not the rabbi of me!

Anthony Weiner Rings In Jewish New Year With Talmudic Debate About Whether He Is A ‘Scumbag’

Happy Jewish New Year, everyone who is Jewish! Is 5774 going to rock or what? While your challah is baking in the oven (or you’re standing in line at the bakery because come on, who has time for that, and also that braiding is tricky business, right?), please enjoy Nice Jewish Boy Anthony Weiner aka Carlos Danger having a calm, reasoned debate with his fellow MOT who, like most New Yorkers, is probably not going to vote for Weiner in the upcoming mayoral race. But what are they debating in their gentlemanly fashion? Oh, just the question of the ages: Is Anthony Weiner a “scumbag”?

Blogger Jacob Kornbluh shot video of the heated exchange and said it began when the man called Weiner a “scumbag” as he exited a bakery.

“Takes one to know one, jackass,” Weiner responded before shouting, “What’s that? You wait till I walk out to say anything that’s courage.”

Well, it’s a little, ahem, unorthodox, but maybe calling voters jackasses is some new outreach strategy that’s so crazy it just might work! (Spoiler alert: It won’t work.)

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Did it get better from there? You bet your apples and honey it did.

“That’s your judgement. … That’s why they have elections,” Weiner shouted. “Go visit with your rabbi. Shows you how much you know. …. You obviously think you’re superior. … You’re not. … You have shown no signs that you’re superior to me and you’re not my God.”

Oooh, good one Tony Carlos! Nothing says shanah tovah like consulting your rabbi about whether Weiner is, in fact, a scumbag. Rabbis across the land who are searching for a good theme for their sermons are no doubt penning thank you notes to the world’s most infamous selfie-taker this very moment.

But lest you think Weiner was being a dick, he happens to have a very good excuse:

in defense of me, the guy waited til I took a bite of honey cake to take a run at me.

Yup, as old Rabbi Schlomo Somethingstein wrote, “Go apeshit on any dude who calls you a name when your mouth is full.” (We’re not sure that’s accurate, actually, but we did not complete our bat mitzvah training, and we don’t have the time to look it up because we still have to hit the bakery.)

Besides, as Weiner Twittersplained, “That’s what Mayors have to do sometimes.”

Well, gosh, that’s a great closing argument to the voters, Mr. Seven Percent. Good luck with the atonement thing. We’re not judging or anything, but seems you’re going to need it.

[TPM]

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Hola wonkerados.

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