Sad Old Navy Preacher Has Cunning Plan To Protect Innocent Wedding Photographers From The Gays
We started this post about our favorite Jesus-freak-ex-Navy-chaplain-angerbear Gordon James “Chaps” Klingenschmitt an hour ago, but then we ended up in a Google hole reminding ourselves of what an impressive track record of nuttery the man has. His demon and gay and DemonGay obsessions really know no bounds. Is he mad about the gays again today? YEP HE SURE IS! Today, some overwrought advice on how to protect your wedding photography business from all the homosexuals that are getting hitched:
On his Monday Pray in Jesus Name Internet show, Chaplain Gordon James “Chaps” Klingenschmitt expressed outrage that the New Mexico Supreme Court had unanimously ruled against a Christian photographer for discriminating against a same sex couple.[...]
But the former Navy chaplain said that he had come up with a solution: wedding photographers should print on their business cards a Bible verse from Romans 1:32, which he interpreted to mean that homosexuals were “worthy of death.”
“Sure you can come, you can hire us, we’ll do your wedding, but we’re going to stamp on the back of every wedding photograph the scripture from Romans 1 that tells you that it’s a sin,” Klingenschmitt explained. “We’re just exercising freedom of the press. Let’s see if they can prosecute that.”
That is some divinely inspired thinking right there! There's just no other way that a god-fearing wedding photographer could ever ensure that a mob of maurading homosexuals doesn't force them into photographing their kinky ghey weddings. And if they go ahead and demand you photograph their buttsecks wedding with their buttsecks dancing and their buttsecks cake even after seeing your "die gays die" business card, you can make sure that they never ever forget they're going to hell every time they check out photos of the nuptials. Genius plan or genius-est plan?
Thanks to John Jacob Jingleheimer Klingenschmitt, yr Wonkette is also motivated to whip up some business cards that reflect our beliefs, but we've been unable to find the Bible verse that says that we specialize in exorcizing the stupid out of people. Anyone?
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Newbies.
ESPECIALLY any second weddings, 'cause Jeebus was really pissed about divorce.
Pretty nearly the only thing he explicitly reviled, except that fig tree.