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Get thee behind me, satanic cupcake!It’s a bad day for bigots out there today. We are having a super-duper SAD because Sweet Cakes by Melissa is closing its doors, according to KOIN.com. You don’t remember them? They are one of the bakeries that is being persecuted because they didn’t want to make wedding cakes for fags, lesbos, queers, and other abominable people, because JESUS. Rather than continuing to fight for their right to party discriminate, they are shutting their doors. Yr Wonket even highlighted them in our post-DOMA story about Tony Perkins being a terrible person. Well, our advocacy/snark campaign worked, so we would like to claim ALL THE CREDIT for ridding Gresham, Ore., of this establishment. You’re welcome. 

The bakery closed its doors and put a message up on its MyFace page (we couldn’t find their page in 30 seconds so completely gave up because that’s the kind of journalism we encourage here at Wonket). However, they also put a lovely handwritten sign on their front door, which KOIN.com captured with a photo. The sign said:

“This fight is not over. We will continue to stand strong. Your Religious Freedom is becoming not Free anymore. This is ridiculous that we can not practice our faith. The LORD is good and we will continue to serve Him with all our heart. ♥”

Poor, poor persecuted Christians. We bet they feel just like those other persecuted people who had to let blacks sit at the lunch counter, because the big bad federal state government said you can’t be dicks to people and have to treat all people with dignity and respect. It’s like you open up a business and have to follow the same laws as everyone else – DON’T THEY KNOW THAT YOU ARE A BELIEBER IN JESUS?!?!!1! Everyone knows that once you have been washed in the blood of the lamb, you are constitutionally guaranteed the ability to ignore laws that you don’t like and think shouldn’t apply to you, and cry “religious persecution,” when forced to follow the same laws as secularists. It’s in the eleventy-fifth Amendment, or Book of Nahum – we forget which.

Unfortunately, Sweet Cakes By Melissa can no longer act like the LORD, who was known to turn away prostitutes, liars, ne-er-do-wells, and other sinners from His presence all the time. In fact, we bet that the LORD is very proud of Melissa for refusing to associate with people she disagreed with, because the LORD never, ever would do anything like that, either.

Sorry, bigots, looks like you will have to get your cupcakes from somewhere else until the rapture, in which case we can only hope that Jesus will set up shop in Gresham and open up Sweet Cakes by Messiah.

[KOIN.com]

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