Oh, Pat Robertson. After giving us a confusing nice time about sex change operations , you had to go out and open your foul, putrid assface talkhole. We’re thankful to the folks at RightWingWatch for enlightening us about the wise words of St. Robertson of Dumbfuckville:
Pat Robertson told co-host Terry Meeuwsen that gay men in cities like San Francisco attempt to spread HIV/AIDS to others by cutting them with a special ring when shaking hands.
Apparently, Pat learned this while cruising for le buttsechs down in the Castro district after blowing fourteen camels and pedophiling some boy scouts, because gays only think about bestiality, pedophilia, buttsechs, and how to spread the Hivy, right?
So this all started because some semi-comatose viewer was wondering if it was wrong that her church had not informed her that the man she was driving to church was dying of AIDS. Robertson went on to reassure her:
“What to say if you’re driving an elderly man whose got AIDS? Don’t have sex with them,” Robertson said, “unless there’s a cut or some bodily fluid transmission, I think you’re not going to catch it.”
Yeah, church lady, don’t try to bang the old AIDS dude in the car on the way to church, you fuckin hussy! We know getting on your knees for Jesus makes you feel tingly in your lady parts, but don't you dare have car-sex with the elderly, AIDS-ridden gentleman you are bringing to church, foul temptress!
Then, he went on to ramble about some nonsense about not being able to disclose whether or not you have AIDS, which we don’t understand because Pat is old and rambles and probably drools a lot, and then he had this zinger:
“You know what they do in San Francisco, some in the gay community there they want to get people so if they got the stuff they’ll have a ring, you shake hands, and the ring’s got a little thing where you cut your finger,” Robertson said. “Really. It’s that kind of vicious stuff, which would be the equivalent of murder.”
Seriously, Pat, what goes on in that eleventy-eight-year-old noggin? Is there any evil that can’t be blamed on the gay community? They can cause 9/11, reign down the wrath of god via hurricanes, ruin institutions like the Boy Scouts, and generally cause the downfall of western civilization. And with all that power, why the fuck are gays running around giving out AIDS through handshakes? Of all the homophobic rants, this one might be the eighteenth dumbest, or at least in the top 25.
Of course, Christian Broadcasting Network edited out these remarks in their online version, because apparently they employ at least one person with a shred of common sense.
While Pat was warning about the murderous intent of the gay community, Raw Story has this for us:
The head of a group known as America’s Survival, Inc. wants Shepard Smith to publicly acknowledge that he is gay.
Yep, your least-least favorite Fox News host is into penis and the male non-female men that come along with said penis. And the right wing is having a GIANT SAD about it:
ASI President Cliff Kincaid gave a presentation at the National Press Club last Tuesday about his organization’s investigation of Fox News. The group’s 40,000-word report warned that Fox News “has become pro-homosexual propaganda.”
Hahahahaha, yeah, Fox News is totally gaying up the airwaves. Seriously, we are at a loss for words. If the right wing is attacking MOTHERFUCKING FOX NEWS for being too liberal with the gehys, then maybe it is the end times after all.
Apparently, Kincaid’s proof is that, “Out magazine had named Smith as one of the most powerful gay men in the media. Smith has never publicly identified himself as gay.”
Our proof was the early '90s infomercial Shep did for the Gay Rainbow Ring of DEATH.
[ Right Wing Watch / Raw Story ]
Alcohol, NOT Pat Robertson, just to be clear.
Now I picture Pat Robertson, looking just like Mister Magoo, wandering around in certain parts of San Francisco, "shaking all the men's hands that were held out to him"