Some days, when the existential fear of meaninglessness that shadows all human life has pressed its jackbooted heel upon our tender necks and loss weighs upon our hearts, we like to cruise Buzzfeed for soul-affirming lists of 17 Cats That Know How to Party or 41 Awesome Muppet Show Sketches You Haven’t Watched Since 1982 or whatever. But sometimes Buzzfeed makes us sad, like when its Community section tries to Win All the Internets with bullshit lies from “clever” conservatives. Why do you hurt us so, Buzzfeed?
Case in point is today’s “argle bargle liberals want to kill all the babies” tripe titled “8 Outrageous Things Planned Parenthood Was Caught Doing.” Sure! If by “caught doing” you mean “things PP employees said that anti-abortion advocates LiveAction.org willfully misinterpreted or tried to trick them into saying and then wouldn’t admit to doing so even after the FBI investigated and told LiveAction to slurp shit and die.”
The list is your usual anti-abortion concern trolling about African-Americans (“Margaret Sanger wanted to kill Negro babies!”), Planned Parenthood’s alleged willingness to cover up for child prostitution pimps and rapists, and claims that PP is lying about providing mammograms (which it does not actually claim to do – many PP clinics provide women with referrals to local mammogram providers, and saying otherwise is a lie) because claiming to offer any services besides the wholesale genocide of clumps of cells is how Cecile Richards can grift zillions of dollars from the federal government and Hollywood liberals.
In fact, everyone knows that 90% of what Planned Parenthood does is kill precious snowflake babies, right, retired Senator Jon Kyl? The other 10%, of the organization’s time, of course, is spent figuring out new ways to lie women into letting the bloodthirsty Planned Parenthood butchers kill the precious snowflake babies.
To sum up, Margaret Sanger led to Nazis led to Planned Parenthood genociding humanity through ‘bortions on demand. We’re sure once conservatives stop Planned Parenthood and poor women are having lots and lots of babies, LiveAction and its leader Lila Rose will turn their prodigious energy into figuring out how those women are going to actually support the babies after they are out of the womb? Lila, we will accept any answer except for “Jesus.”
Ugh, we hate Buzzfeed.
So let’s close this with as close as we’ve gotten to Nice Time today: this picture from Planned Parenthood’s Cecile Richards of President Obama hangin’ with some peeps at the site of the 1848 womens’ rights convention in Seneca Falls, NY. And then we’re going to go look at some cat pictures.
GIVE US MONEY! -