Mean Old ‘The Media’ (Wonkette) Is Oppressing Cenk Uygur, Please Send Him Money To Dry His Tears

  elp elp e's being repressed!

OK, so maybe we're not in Kowloon. But we sure like saying "Kowloon."Well THAT escalated quickly! As you may recall, way back on Wednesday, we ran a brief story on Cenk Uygur’s supposedly shocking audio of D.C. Rep Eleanor Holmes Norton leaving a voicemail message for a lobbyist and asking for money. Brazen! Unbelievable corruption! “Where’s my bribe?” Legalized bribery!

We pointed out that the story originally broke in 2010, and that we laughed at it back then. We asked,

Does anybody besides Cenk Uygur hear extortion here? We hear maybe a little entitlement? Like, her disbelieving laugh that she hasn’t been offered contributions while her colleagues have?

and we made fun of the “robot taco death march” closed captions.

WELL! Turns out that Cenk Uygur was NOT PLEASED!

 
Related video

That afternoon, he sent a seriously ungentlemanly tweet our way:

Just imagine if we'd called him names!

Now, we just want to point out that we did not call Cenk Uygur any bad names at all. And Yr Editrix adds, “I was on his show this one time, and I got to say a sentence!” That sentence did not include any name-calling either. But we really seem to have upset him with our scandalous reminder that this story originated on Breitbart in 2010, because today, Uygur’s “Wolf PAC” sent out a fund-raising email with the subject line “I’m being attacked.” Poor Cenk, it turns out, is being victimized for his courage in calling out corruption:

I am being attacked in the “media” for highlighting this story and holding Congress accountable for their blatant corruption and corporate pandering. Really? I’m the problem, because I publicized the idiotic statements you made on a recorded message that everyone can easily see represents the unadulterated sleaziness of the relationship between Congress and corporate lobbyists.

Bullshit.

Really? Where? We have searched all over the web, and didn’t find any sources other than Wonkette “attacking” Cenk Uygur — for the most part, the video is reposted with the “Where’s My Bribe” hedline, and cited as evidence that Eleanor Holmes Norton is a crook, as is everyone else in Congress. Apart from a couple of people in comment threads, nobody else even called attention to the fact that this tape is from 2010.

The letter goes on to ask for a donation — or should we say, extorts the reader — to Wolf PAC to help pass “a 28th Amendment to the Constitution that restores free and fair elections in this country[.]” Sure, we can get behind their basic idea — “end corporate personhood and publicly finance all elections in our country.” That would be nice! On the other hand, they’re saying it should be pursued through a Constitutional Convention, which is more likely to end up getting us a brand new First Amendment guaranteeing the right to attend the Christian church of your choice. But we digress.

Anyhoo, please be sure to send Cenk Uygur money for the pain and suffering he has pained and suffered in the vicious attack by the hegemommy “media,” yr Wonket. Oh, whoops. Wrong link.

Related

About the author

Doktor Zoom lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his pseudonym after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.