Let's All Listen To Texas Lt. Governor David Dewhurst Calling Police To Get Niece Out Of Pokey
Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst is a man who cares about justice. He's a big fan of gittin' tough on crime, and a strong supporter of the death penalty, of course, because he's a Texas Republican. But he's also not without compassion for those who have been unjustly accused, especially if they are related to him. Which is why Dewhurst called the Allen Police Department to ask what could be done to get Ellen Bevers, his "step-niece-in-law," out of jail after an August 3 arrest for shoplifting. It doesn't appear he did anything improper or illegal -- Allen police emphasized it's not unusual for relatives to call for information, and Dewhurst told the sergeant he talked to that they should follow their normal procedures. Wonkette is very clear on this -- even lieutenant governors are allowed to call to help their relatives, and sure, it's entirely possible that this was a scanning error, not shoplifting. (Due process, y'all!)
Oh, but that tone of voice. Dewhurst identifies himself several times as "David Dewhurst, Lieutenant Governor of the State of Texas," and anyone who's worked for that one boss will recognize the Alpha Male Voice of Authority coming through the phone. Give it a listen over here (fair warning: There be autoplay video at that link)
UPDATE: Could we get the full audio to embed? We could not. So instead, here's a video with some excerpts, but you can hear the full call at the link above.
It's also kind of fun hearing Dewhurst try to explain his relationship to Bevers -- she's his nephew's wife, but somehow that particular phrasing never quite makes it out. When is Step-Niece-in-Law's Day anyway?
We wouldn't go as far as Dewhurst's opponent in the Republican primary, state Sen. Dan Patrick, who said the call suggests that "Dewhurst believes he and his family are above the law" -- this would only be an abuse of power if Dewhurst asked for special treatment, which he very explicitly does not.
But the tone of the guy on the end of the line? We've worked for that guy. We don't especially like that guy. And having been a call center monkey, we really don't like having that guy call us on the Customer Care Line.
[ NBCDFW via the tipline]
Everything is.
So this is the guy who'd be governor were Rick Perry to have become President?
The ramifications of that really don't mean a damn thing once you realize if that Rick Perry were president, then everyone would be completely fucked, regardless.