You guys, this is the saddest thing we at Wonket have seen all day, and we saw rightwing "comedian" Eric Golub try to do "logic." (Go ahead, visit the comments of Golub's WashTimes screed against li'l ol' us, newest first, but it's only funny for a while, and then you realize he is a human in pain, holding himself together with only the rigidity of his "thoughts" against the vast indignities of an uncaring cosmos.)
Anyway! Golub got us thinking about how lonely M. Joseph Sheppard must be now that we have a new conservapal, and we hopped on over to his Sarah Palin fanblog, and he had put up this post one week ago, asking for a dollar. Once somebody had sent him that dollar, he said, he would take the post down.
YOU GUYS WE JUST FOUND THE SADDEST THING IN THE WORLD.
So actually don't send him a dollar, because we just sent him five.
However, you can send us money, because frankly you are a little behind in your tithing this month, and haven't even paid Doktor Zoom's salary! How can we be proper parasites leeching off the hard work of others if you don't even send us sweet sweet grift? Also, we'll be sure to let M. Joseph Sheppard how much money you sent us, say, this time tomorrow, in his honor! We are sure he will be very grateful. Wonkers, start your Paypal!Â
UPDATE! M. Joseph Sheppard sent us our filthy money back! Fucking swear, nobody's allowed to do anything nice in this world! : (
Eric Golub lives on a different planet than I do. I just wish his was farther away, maybe near Saturn.
We're going to need bigger quotes.
That guy is industrial-grade not-funny.