Jim Hoft, the stupidest man on the internet, just wants to let his readers know how pampered the prisoners at Guantanamo are. In a story headlined “Gitmo to Celebrate Holy Ramadan with Feast and Muslim Prayer,” Hoft lays out the shocking details:
The US military plans on serving lamb, bread, dates and honey to the Gitmo terrorists in celebration of the end of Ramadan.
Guards were preparing to serve the first in a series of special meals Wednesday to prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to mark the end of the Muslim holy period of Ramadan, which this year brought a lull in a long-running hunger strike.
The military planned to serve lamb, bread, dates and honey as the last daylight fasting period of Ramadan ends, [emphasis added by Hoft] followed by three traditional holiday dinners on Thursday, said a spokesman for the prison, Navy Capt. Robert Durand. There will also be a special hour-long prayer for the holiday known as Eid al-Fitr in addition to the five daily prayers.
Lamb, bread, dates, and honey? Outrageous luxury! And actual accommodation of the prisoners’ religion? What is this country coming to? And why haven’t these people been converted, like Ann Coulter recommended? Next thing you know, they’ll be getting free helicopter rides.
The butthurt at Gitmo prisoners being given a meal and being allowed to practice their religion is a pretty novel complaint, having only been around since Rep. Duncan Hunter discovered in 2005 that Taxpayer Dollars were paying for prayer rugs and rice pilaf, so never mind a side order of waterboarding.
Of course, Hoft’s fairly straightforward copy-paste of the story from Al-Arabiya is mostly just an excuse to turn loose the commenters, who have some really creative suggestions involving pork, pig’s blood, pork chops, bacon, ham, BLT sandwiches, and maybe “battery cables and rubber hoses.”
The other theme, of course, is that the Gitmo prisoners are now living in the Hilton. All of these complaints come from people who have almost certainly experienced first hand what institutional kitchens — from elementary school cafeterias to military mess halls — are capable of doing to holiday meals. They also would have scraped any dates and honey on their plates into the garbage.
Still, gotta say this much for branding: nobody ever complains about prisoners being treated as if they were staying at a Westin. But guys, this one’s a gimme — it’s not the Hilton, it’s the Ramadan Inn.