Rick Santorum Says Kids Won't Shower At YMCA Because Abortion, Forgets It's Because Of Teh Ghey

Hooray! That frothy mixture of sweater vest and JFK-inspired vomit -- oh and of course the lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex -- thank you forever, Dan Savage, who by the way LURVES Yr Wonkette -- has spoke words again. We love when he speaks words because they are always certifiably bugfuck insane and HI-larious -- seriously, what kind of human animal thinks sex for pleasure is icky but rape babies are a gift from God? -- and his bugfuckery makes even his own party goes, "Uh, dude, seriously? You are bugfuck crazy."

But we are super excited about Rick Santorum's latest crazyspeak, because he recentlypromised threatenedpromise-threatened that he is "open to looking into the presidential race in 2016," which will make the GOP primary clusterfuck super extra fun for the rest of us to watch.

So what's keeping Ricky up at night these days, besides worrying about man-on-dog sex? Apparently, it's how the left is kicking the right's ass because the left is obsessed with abortion, unlike the right, and it's making kids at the YMCA uncomfortable to shower wait what huh? Yeah :

What the pro-choice movement does is they don't just focus on their little issue. They focus on everything they do and every aspect of their lives. They make it uncomfortable for students who come to Austin to shower at a Young Men's Christian Association, YMCA, gym, because they live it," he said. "Because they live it. They're passionate, they're willing to do and say uncomfortable things in mixed company. They're willing to make the sacrifice at their business because they care enough."

Well, okay, Santorumdoeshave a point. When we shower with aborted fetus blood, it makes us uncomfortable too. On the other hand ...

What the FUCKING FUCK IN ALL OF FUCKTOWN are you talking about, Rick? Because (a) Every single sentence that ever vomited out of Rick Santorum's mouth included "blah blah blah life the unborn KISS THE DEAD FETUS, KIDS blah," with the occasional variation of "ew gays"; and (2) we were not aware that there is some epidemic of kids being afraid to shower in Austin because someone might say "abortion." Maybe Rick heard about that from the same person who told Michele Bachmann that the HPV vaccine instantly turned her kid retarded, which seems to be where conservatives get most of their "facts"?

Whatever, we are excited anyway, because if making showering safe for kids by banning liberals or maybe just the word abortion is going to be front and central in the 2016 GOP primary, we can hardly wait to watch. That is, if RNC chair Reince Priebus doesn't cancel it .

[ HuffPo ]