Here Are Your Strange Anthony Weiner Photoshop Contest Things, Congratulations, You All Lost

  there are no wieners in this game

I responded to this article with an anger stemming from the pain of having to read about the specific anti-Black racism of a white person who was attempting to write this article as an ally. My issue is not in examining privilege, rather it is in manner in which it is done.Hey, Wonkers, we know we said we’d be giving somebody second place in our Anthony Weiner Photoshop Extravaganza (first place went to shirtlesselfiedarth™ already, for the image we used to announce the contest), but at the very moment we were judging the entries, the Sekrit Chatcave was overwhelmed by an essay containing such epic grad-student jargon and whininess that it just put all your little dick jokes into perspective and made us realize that none of your efforts, not even SayItWithWookies’ Dali-themed Blingee above (we especially like the ’61 Chevy lowrider), could possibly add anything to The Discourse ever again — not that you are supposed to add to the discourse, because that is appropriative, and also theft. And so, the winner of our photoshop contest and all other photoshop contests forever, even at other blogs, is Jessie-Lane Metz, for her outstanding contribution to surrealism titled “Ally-phobia: On the Trayvon Martin Ruling, White Feminism, and the Worst of Best Intentions.” Yes, we recognize that technically, it is not a “photoshop” and it is not “about” Anthony Weiner, but it is far more hilarious and bizarre than any of your actual entries. Also, TRIGGER WARNING.

For instance, consider this image by reader “hillarywhore1,” which recenters whiteness as a socially constructed thingum that makes us glad that, once we escaped academe, we stopped having to try to spit out a lot of critical theory jargon. But look, it is a white man being violent and not nearly intersectional enough! Also, something something phallologocentrism.
I am concerned by the re-centering of whiteness in this article

But it is as nothing in comparison to the exquisitely political pain experienced by Ms. Metz when she reads white would-be “allies” relating stories about racism, or even taking hard looks at their own:

When a person of colour speaks to their own experiences of racism, they are speaking to a collective pain, and speaking truth to power. When a person with white skin privilege gives an anecdote about racism, whether their own or someone else’s, they are exposing more racialized people to this discrimination, and reasserting their own privilege.

Which is to say, white people do not get to talk about racism if they include any examples, or are self-reflective, because it will be painful for graduate students, especially Jessie-Lane Metz, to think about. So do not ignore racism! But do not talk about or examine racism! You are appropriating stuff, and also triggering sadness. How such delicate flowers can smash the hegemonic patriarchy will have to be worked out at a later date!

Also, all your other entries were awful, and we’re just going to award third prize to this thing that Donald Trump tweeted today, THE END:

I remember my rage in my first year of my BSW studies, reading Peggy McIntosh’s “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,” in which she casually appropriated the collective pain of Black people, and rolled out excruciating examples of our experiences in an itemized list. Her article, largely in bullet-point form, highlights a number of ways in which Black people are treated differently from white people on a daily basis. The beneficiaries of this article are largely white. Peggy herself benefitted from becoming a central voice in anti-racist activism, and still charges $10 for a copy of her article, after doing nothing more than stealing our pain, putting it in her words, and becoming an expert in a struggle that is not her own. I fail to see how Black people get to benefit from this unpacking of the racist knapsack. Because the article was appropriative. Because it spoke on behalf of us without our permission. Because it highlights painful acts of racism that we have to read. Because it re-centres whiteness. Because it represents so much of the failures of modern white feminism.

[theToast]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his pseudonym after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Hola wonkerados.

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