you should see what she pulls out for ding dong ditch

Old Lady Arrested Like Common Criminal Just For Standing Her Driveway’s Ground

teen sluts must dieYou are riding down a lonely road, somewhere in the rural South, let us call it “Tennessee.” You decide, because you have never seen a horror movie, that you will take the “scenic route,” and while you are at it, why not go into the basement alone? We’re sure your wife and kids will be just fine while you investigate that clanking noise. But oh, no! Who’s a-comin’? It is Granny, to shoot you dead, because Granny is a homicidal maniac, because “Stand Your Ground,” and did we mention “the South”?

But of course, you are thinking, Granny up there had every right to shoot people in her basement investigating clanking sounds, because of how we said you were in the basement investigating clanking sounds, because of how we are a liar. Actually, Granny fired shots into your car full of man, wife and five kids, out of mortal fear for the life of her driveway.

So just what were these miscreants perpetrating? Were they trying to poll for the Census?

“She fired one shot and my wife hollered and told her we’re just turning around, and then she shot again,” Scott told the Kingsport Times-News. “We got out of there pretty well as fast as we could. I still don’t really know what her problem was.”

According to [a police] report, the woman, identified as Margie Rhea Ramey, confessed to firing her .22 caliber rifle at the car, claiming “she has had a continuous problem with people tearing up her driveway.”

She was subsequently booked into Hawkins County Jail on seven counts of felony reckless endangerment, but bonded out later that night.

Well thank the good and beneficent lord someone saw fit to cut Rhea Ramey loose so she could keep shooting at cars full of children turning around in her driveway. Here’s hoping Eric Holder doesn’t go full Hitler and come after this totally sane lady’s guns.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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