America is Number One in everything. We are the bestest country on the goddam planet because we have huge dicks and trucknutz and guns everywhere and democracy and robot drones that kill whoever the fuck we want and Osama Bin Laden is Dead and GM is Alive and Lee Greenwood and bald eagles and Honey Boo Boo and purple mountains majesty and FUCK YEAH! So naturally we have the best health care in the world, too, right? Take it away, Mother Jones:
A new study in JAMA … compares American health outcomes with those in other rich countries. Overall, we’re now in 28th place, sandwiched in between Chile and Poland.
There is only one logical response: SUCK IT POLAND.
Who else has better health care? Let’s see… Greece, which has a collapsing economy; the Czech Republic, which just became a country in Yr Wonkette’s lifetime; Canada, full of moose-humping socialists; and even Slovenia, which no one in the Sekrit Wonket Chatcave can find on a map because we were all educated in the United States, like such as.
Fuck us, who did we beat? Poland, Slovakia and Estonia. Really? That’s who we beat? Feel the patriotic pride, people.
Between 1990 and 2010, among the 34 countries in the OECD, the US dropped from 18th to 27th in age-standardized death rate. The US dropped from 23rd to 28th for age-standardized years of life lost. It dropped from 20th to 27th in life expectancy at birth. It dropped from 14th to 26th for healthy life expectancy. The only bit of good news was that the US only dropped from 5th to 6th in years lived with disability.
You people already know the obvious solution to this quandary: REPEAL OBAMACARE. Because this is what the Republicans have been trying to do eleventy billion times. What is really interesting is the GOP health care plan, which we will lay out in detail below:
Yep. Great job, GOP. That whole “repeal & replace” mantra was just another in a long string of lies because you suck at governing and legislating and doing anything productive.
So good luck, Wonketeers. Go get your Obamacare, but just don’t expect too much. At least we are better than Poland.