Deleted Comments Of The Week: A Slushpile Sampler

It's been a little while since our comments queue overflowed with good old fashioned vitriol, and as we've noted previously, we simply don't seem to get the kind of unhinged semiliterate rants that made us all feel like worthly Wokette skum. Maybe that's a reflection of the waning influence of the tea party? Happily, there's a nonstop supply of derp out there, and some of it inevitably finds its way to Your Wonkette, where we recycle it for your snarking pleasure.

For instance, after we ran that photo of the Texas man who regrets his abortion, we received this message from "ckennettbaker," who just wanted to mansplain a thing or two:

So, I take it that abortions don't have any affect on the man? That's kind of sexist point of view, don't you think? If it takes a man to get a woman pregnant, why is it solely her decision whether or not to have an abortion? Maybe she shouldn't have opened her legs to begin with. Just sayin'...

Thanks for calling us out on our sexism, dude!

Our automated tweet about the story also garnered some transplaining from across the twitterverse:

We are hoping that was maybe just in response to the headline, because we would really like to think that trans men, who you'd assume know a thing or two about government regulation of very personal matters, do not account for a huge chunk of the 'bortion-banning crowd. Then again, it's Texas -- maybe there's loads of former ladies who can't wait to ride the patriarchy train to the end of the line?

Next up, a bit of hilarity from "badleydadley," who Did Not Care At All for all that Gay Leprechaun Cereal:  

General Mills will now be putting a big dose of genuine fag spooge sauce in every box of Lucky Charms! So chow down all you libtards. You can show solidarity with the LGBT community by curling up and dying from AIDS. Enjoy!!!

You would think that badleydadley knows darn well that the HIV virus would never survive the intense heat of General Mills' industrial cereal ovens. Such scientific illiteracy, sadly, is rampant, and it hurts America.

We got some genuine satirical satire from "Moron1" in response to our recent piece on Dame Peggy Noonan. See if YOU can spot the ironic reversal!

I really wish the GOP what just shut up or this issue. Lets triple the number of Planned Parenthoods in the inner cities and they we can sit back and reap the benefits of the elimination of the black weed.. Sincerely Margeret Sanger, your hero.

Oh, wow, talk about subtle! Nice try, but you don't pass the audition this time!

And finally, speaking of subtlety, a couple of comments that Yr. Doktor Zoom actually approved, prompting a gentle reminder from the Editrix that we don't want concern trolls here. True, these are therefore not actually "deleted comments," but as the Editrix noted, "they SHOULD have been deleted, but were not, because of your HUGE MISTAKE." We got a couple of readers who thought that our piece on Glenn Beck's Bad-Art-A-Palooza went just a little too far in suggesting that a painting of Benedict Arnold as Judas "makes us want to read Oscar Wilde and go burn down a synagogue." Oddly, they seem to have no problem with reading Oscar Wilde.

"ain't_no_lady" said:

" . . . and go burn down a synagogue." Huh? You just lost all my respect for your work and for you.

which prompted alert commenter "FFS Buddha" to suggest,

I'll just bet that your local adult ed has a class called "Sarcasm for Dummies".

This did not win over allied commenter "boudicasmith," who replied

How could you even think that Jew-hating is a fun comment, even when said with sarcasm? Why would you even think such a comment is appropriate. And, no, I'm not being over sensitive

Actually, dear? You are, and we never should have approved YOUR first comment -- "Burn down a synagogue? How is that amusing to you?" -- either.

But just to clarify, we will crib from our reply in the thread, and be done with it:

Dear ain't_no_lady and boudicasmith

Please let me assure you that I do not actually wish to burn down any synagogues, especially since there might be some in-laws in there.

Wonkette often says things that are the exact opposite of what we really mean, to call attention to a gross absurdity.

Let me explain how this works! You may have noticed that the painting includes a stereotypical antisemitic image that could have come from Der Sturmer in the late 1930s (Note the text that appears when you move your mouse over the image -- this "alt-txt" is an extra joke, provided at no charge to you, the reader. In case you are wondering, Julius Streicher is dead, and did not actually approve the painting -- this too is japery!)

Therefore, as the vast majority of our readers have sussed out all for themselves, the statement "This painting makes us want to go burn down a synagogue" is best interpreted as an ironic reversal that mocks the painting. Language, it turns out, often has double meanings, and writers of political humor blogs frequently exploit this property.

You may want to read up on irony and sarcasm. Linda Hutcheon's book  Irony's Edge: The Theory and Politics of Irony  is an excellent treatment of the subject.

Also, I now feel compelled to point out that I do not think the last painting [in the post] actually depicts an exploding crotch.

Resuming the editorial first person plural, we pledge to keep humorless concern trolls off the swings in the future.