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Finally, Someone Is Going To Jail For What The Banks Did!

banks suckYes, you read that right: finally, someone is going to jail for what the banks did! If this seems like it is too good to be true, Wonketeers, your instincts are correct because the person who is FINALLY going to jail is not anyone associated with the banks, but rather, a man who wrote mean words about banks on the sidewalk in San Diego.

Did we forget to mention that the mean words were written in water-soluble chalk? Did we also forget to mention that the man’s impending prosecution comes after Bank of America’s Vice President of Global Corporate Security relentlessly pressured the city attorney to charge the man for writing mean words with chalk?

Via the San Diego Union-Tribune:

Jeff Olson, 40, faces 13 misdemeanor vandalism charges for the way he made his views known. He faces up to 13 years in jail and $13,000 in restitution, although prosecutors say incarceration is rare in vandalism cases.

If the city loses the case, it might be chalked up to jurors who question if the city should be spending taxpayer money bringing charges against someone who plied his activism — or vandalism — using something that can be easily washed away with a hose.

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Sure the chalk can be washed away with the hose, but what about the banks’ feelings? Did anyone ever think of that? Banks are persons too and no amount of water can wash away the wounds that Jeff Olson inflicted on their souls.

[Olson] drew his protest slogans from February 2012 to August 2012. The messages ranged from “stop big banks” to designs of octopus tentacles grasping wads of cash. [...]

Olson and [his attorney] agree with [San Diego mayor Bob] Filner that the chalk prosecution is a First Amendment case, but jurors will hear only about vandalism. Superior Court Judge Howard H. Shore granted a prosecution motion prohibiting Tosdal from invoking free speech or freedom of expression during the trial.

The city attorney — who is relentlessly pursuing this case even though the mayor views it as a huge waste of taxpayer money — has apparently taken campaign contributions from Bank of America. OK, makes sense, but what is the judge’s excuse for not only forbidding any mention of the words “free speech” or “freedom of expression”  but also preventing all parties (including the mayor) from commenting on the case? Not sure, but we are dying to hear commenter theories.
Also, do the terrorists STILL hate us for our freedoms? We would be interested in knowing.

 

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About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

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