So here is the San Francisco Chronicle’s front page for today. (It is in “print,” a thing where they put “ink” on “paper.”) You can look and look, but you will not find a story about “gay marriage” on it, in the paper of record for the city so gay Nancy Pelosi’s staffers all wear assless chaps, because BART is ONE STEP CLOSER to a WALKOUT!
What are those little top stories above the A-1, for the world and nation fronts? They are: “Australia,” “Africa Trip,” “Filibuster Star,” “Death Penalty,” and “Ancient Horse.” Okay, so they must have covered it below the fold, right?
*But they must have done a special section wrap or something, right? DON’T KNOW, because THAT IS NOT THE FRONT PAGE.**
**Reports are flying in from
around the country MissTaken and SorosBot and our sister-in-law Casey that OF COURSE the Chron had a special front section — DOUBLE VICTORY — complete with pictures of Handsome Gav. We don’t know whether to blame Newseum — FUCK YOU NEWSEUM — or the Chron itself for not even having a bumper on its front saying “SEE SPECIAL SECTION WHOOHOO” or whatever, but we are fairly certain we will not be blaming ourselves.