Paula Deen Defends Herself Against Baseless Racism Charges With Adorable Punchline To Racist Joke

This morning (afternoon? We have lost all conception of space and time) we sexplained why we hadn't posted about Paula Deen's Romantic Longings for Ye Olden Slave Times when we could have broken it. Really, we figured, "old white southern lady loves slavery, news at 11." Really, the important thing was her (ALLEGEDLY) discriminatory employment practices! So we didn't break it, possibly because of Ethics, and possibly because of Shitty News Judgment. But then Paula Deen went on the Today show and cried and cried and won herself seven Oscars and 14 daytime Emmys for her Streepian performance. That performance was anchored by an anguished Deen yowling, "I IS WHAT I IS!!!"

Oh, yeah, right. That's from a racist joke.

"There was a black guy and a white guy debating whether God was white or black. The white guy said that there was only one way to find out and that is to pray. So they go up on a hill and they pray and pray and pray. Finally they hear a voice say 'I am what I am.' The white guy jumps up and shouts: 'AHA! I told you he was white!' The black guy jumps up and says, 'What do you mean? That didn't prove anything!' Yes it did, the white guy explained, because if God was black he would have said 'I is what I is.'"

Haha, dumb black people.

Paula Deen, go to jail.

[ Loljokes ]