Rick Santorum Thinks It Would Be Fun To Run A Movie Studio

  Fetal Attraction

All Ponies Go To Heaven...Except Rarity, That BitchAs if losing elections for the U.S. Senate and the presidency weren’t enough, Rick Santorum now looks forward to driving a movie studio into bankruptcy! The frothy one has been named CEO of EchoLight Studios, a Christian movie company based in Dallas. Santorum was excited to get to work doing to movies what he’s done for politics:

“This is the right place and right time, and I’ve jumped in with both feet,” the former Pennsylvania senator and 2012 presidential candidate said in a statement. “I often say that culture is upstream from politics, and I know entertainment also can be strength and light for people who want to be uplifted and reinforced in their values.”

It seems like a match made in heaven (the Catholic one). After all, the movie industry is dying for lack of ideas and an anachronistic business model, so Rick Santorum should fit right in. The studio’s first movie, “The Redemption of Henry Myers,” is set to be released this fall; it’s described as “a Western about a bank robber choosing between revenge and Redemption.” We can’t wait to see the scene in which the bank robber gets $18,000 to lecture high school students that they need to beware of Muslims.

Some other projects that EchoLight Studios is expected to greenlight:

  • A Man and His Dog
  • Educating Rita Just Makes Her An America-Hating Snob
  • Lube Story
  • Saturday Night Fecal
  • Harry Potter and the Demonic Influence of Sorcery
  • Fetaljuice
  • Mr. Smith Goes to Washington And Makes It A Theocracy Like Our Founders Wanted
  • The 40 Year Old Virgin Is A Role Model For Us All
  • Frother of the Bride
  • Knocked Up And Married, Thank You Very Much
  • American Graffiti is a Crime Don’t These Urban Youths Know That?
  • Gone Baby Gone (But Only After A Couple Of Days Of Being Carried Around Like Some Weird Totem)
  • Fade to Blah

kaneclap 320The Washington Post notes that Santorum gave a speech in 2011 to the Heritage Foundation in which he said that Christian films could have a great impact, but suffered because of quality issues:

“The problem in the past is that you have these people who create these Christian films — great message, terrible acting, horrible editing,” Santorum said. “They are not entertaining, they’re preachy.”

God knows, if there’s anyone we can trust to entertain without any preachiness, it’s Rick Santorum.

[WaPo]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his pseudonym after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

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