wonkersHola dudes, sorry we haven’t rapped at you lately, or uploaded all our pictures of your beautiful faces in Chicago, and Madison, and Minneapolis, and whatnot. We will get on that right away sort of! Are we going to throw a party in Des Moines, Iowa, for you tonight? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Goddamn are we tired. But we will be eating hamburgers and beer at El Bait Shop at 6 p.m., if you want to come and stare at us like a creep, or even NOT stare at us like a creep, but muster up your social skills and sit down at our table, and buy us dinner instead! (You don’t actually have to buy us dinner. BUT YOU COULD!)

We knew you could do it. WE ARE PROUD OF YOU, IOWA.

And what’s on tap for tomorrow? Oh, just Frank’s North Star Tavern in Lawrence, Kansas, starting at 6 p.m.!

Then it’s Tuesday in Norman (probably at the Mort; we forgot to call them); Thursday in Dallas; and Saturday in Austin, place TBD but maybe this bring your own beer pizza place our girlfriend runs the twitter for? MAYBE! (Please bring Shiners.) (Also, you can hang out with us on Friday if you email us at rebecca at wonkette dot com and say HEY LET US DO [FUN THING] IN AUSTIN! You supply the fun thing, obvs.)

And then we are never throwing another party again.

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