Actress Prepares For Ground-Breaking New Role: Inmate In Federal Prison

Hey Wonkstaffel, are you sad and depressed from all the awful news lately about BENGHAZI!!!!1!!! and the IRS and how President Barry spends his evenings in the White House personally reviewing your ISP activity logs and cackling at the number of German scheisse videos you have watched online since 2001? Then let us cheer you up with this tale of the dumbest person to allegedly mail ricin-infested letters to politicians since last month. 

Meet Shannon Richardson, 35, aka Shannon Rogers or, Shannon Guess -- just like those jeans she likes? -- actress, pregnant mom currently incubating child number six as marriage number three winds down into oblivion. Shannon is apparently not taking this latest divorce very well:  

A Texas actress in a troubled marriage was arrested and charged Friday in connection with ricin-tainted letters that were mailed last month to President Barack Obama and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, authorities said…

Her husband denied involvement and claimed his wife wanted to end their marriage and leave him, the affidavit said. He told investigators that his wife was "intentionally misleading" them, the court papers said…

A law enforcement official told CNN that investigators believe Richardson sent the letters herself. She was angry at her husband, the official said.

Richardson’s IMDB page does not list any actual credits, but her résumé posted on the site says she has appeared inThe Vampire Diariesas “Student,”Franklin and Bashas “Lawyer,” andThe Walking Deadas “Zombie.” She sounds to us not so much like an actress as a professional extra. Also according to IMDB, she plays the flute, writes travel articles, once donated bone marrow to a little girl dying of leukemia, and is the proud owner of a teaching degree, a paralegal degree, and the same tramp stamp we've seen on a couple of thousand other actresses in our lifetime. Between all that plus the (almost) six kids, three marriages, and allegedly sending ricin-soaked anti-gun control letters to the president and gun-control advocates and then going to the FBI to frame her husband for it, she’s packed a lot of living into those thirty-five years! The government is now going to give her the chance to slow down by sending her to prison for up to a decade for mailing a threatening communication to the president. Maybe she can take up martial arts. 

Yr Wonkette cannot stress this enough: no matter how much of a grudge you hold against an enemy, no matter how badly someone broke your heart (OR IN OUR CASE STOMPED ON IT LIKE A TINY ANIMAL CRUSHED UNDER THE STILLETO HEEL OF A CRUSH FETISHIST BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IT FELT LIKE WHEN YOU LEFT, HELEN!!!) do not under any circumstances take revenge by mailing deadly poison to the president. Or anyone else.

[ CNN ]