British Idiot On Fox Knows What Is Wrong With America (Hint: It Is The Poors, Old Chap)

What is with all these worthless British dilettantes befouling our fair American shores? Did we not drive the lobsterbacks twice unto the angry sea with our muskets of virtue a-cracking? Niall Ferguson and Piers Morgan are six too many, but the worst of all may be Stuart Varney, who is on the Fox Business Channel all the time being a bloated bourgeois dick toward poor people. He isn’t even pretending otherwise! No, he just flat out said , “I am being mean to poor people. Frankly, I am.” Frankly, sir, a parcel of rodent genitalia, divorc’d from their corporeal hosts and seasoned just so, would look well upon and within your stupid fucking face. But why is Stuart Varney being mean to poor people, aside from he is a fucking dick?

A few reasons. Superficially, Stuart Varney is being mean to poor people because he thinks the Earned Income Tax Credit is “corrupt,” and to show how serious he is about this, he will go on the teevee a whole bunch of times and flat-out fucking lie about what the EITC is and how it works. The EITC really is so evil, thinks Stuart Varney, that representing it fairly and accurately simply won’t do; it must be lied about! So instead of correctly stating that the people who receive the EITC pay a wide range of taxes, like payroll taxes, local taxes, sales taxes, Stuart Varney will say the EITC goes to people “who have never paid a dime in their lives.” And instead of noting that only people with jobs qualify for the EITC, and that the EITC payment INCREASES as you earn more money (to a point), Stuart Varney will just lump it in with food stamps and Medicaid in a list of things that create an “ entitlement mentality .”

That’s another other reason Stuart Varney hates the EITC, or so he says -- it leads to a sad state of affairs in which the Poors “ lack … the richness of spirit .” No, dickhead, what poor people lack is money. But the real reason Stuart Varney hates the EITC is that he loves being rich and hates paying taxes, duh! And since he’s also a deficit hawk, his lower taxes are gonna have to come out of someone’s ass. But you can’t really say that, even on Fox News, so you have to invent these transparently farcical metaphysical explanations of how helping poor people is the worst thing you can do for poor people.

Look, yr Wonkette used to give these people the benefit of the doubt that even if they were dead wrong about the economic effects of taxing the rich to help the poor, at least they sincerely believed that their preferred policy would benefit everyone with boats being lifted and such. Well, no fucking longer. They’re all the same. They are pathologically obsessed with having the most money possible; they judge their own success in life solely by how much they have; and they truly do not give a shit if there is a vast underclass of impoverished human beings in this country as long as they’re kept far away from the good places where the rich live and work. They suffered EITC expansions under Reagan and Bush I as deal-sweeteners that would get just enough Democrats to go along with huge tax cuts for the rich, and now that those cuts are in place, it's time to paint the long-ago compromises as a gift to "takers." Even if they know and understand the long-term economic and social consequences of growing poverty, they do not give a shit, because guess what -- they’re already rich and getting richer.

In this sense, Fox News is doing more than liberals ever could to tip the national sentiment toward redistribution of wealth by legislative fiat, just by showing everyone what a bunch of shitbag ninnies their “betters” really are.

(All you need to know about Stuart Varney is that he loved the Beatles…  because they were rich . )

[ Media Matters ]