GOP: Rape Is Just Nature's Way of Keeping Women Out of Military

Holy fucking shitbags, GOP, are you even trying to compete for the womyn vote anymore? If you are, you are doing a fantastically terrible job and it, and all libruls should just hope you continue talking right up to election day, because you are seriously going above and beyond the call of duty. The Senate Armed Services Committee held a hearing on the rampant sexual assault epidemic that is happening all over the military. You know – rapes, groping, pats on the ass, sexual intimidation, things womyn whine about while they are on the rag, right? Chicks, man.

First up, we have Sen. Grumpy McPoopypants from Arizona. We are used to chuckling at McCain because he is a dottering olde fool who seems cranky all the time, but this time he went from absent-minded “I don’t know how many houses I own” and calling his wife a trollop cunt to straight up sexist piece of ratshit :

Sen. John McCain is so disturbed by rampant sexual assault in the military that he cannot give his “unconditional support” to women thinking of joining the armed services.

Notice how he doesn’t say that men are the problem? Apparently, the problem with 26,000 women (and some men) facing sexual assault is just too many damn women. You ladies would be better off just cleaning or something, k? You do not have John McCain’s “unconditional support” to volunteer to risk your FUCKING LIVES to protect this cowardly, wrinkly waste of skin yapping his oversized jowls about not supporting you. Here’s a suggestion: men should stop being rapey, and if they persist, perhaps kick their ass out of the military and make the military FUCKING SAFE. Perhaps you can get off your pathetic ass and write a piece of legislation that makes it better, rather than just telling women to think twice about joining the military. But then, did things get worse with old Republican men opening their cockholsters about rapes in the military? Oh, Lucy, they did!

Ass-backward Georgia fucktard Saxby Chambliss (R-Halfwit) also had this to say :

The young folks coming in to each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22 or 23. Gee whiz, the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur. So we've got to be very careful how we address it on our side.

Well, we here at Wonket are surprised to learn that nature creates rapists because of hormone levels. Is this seriously the “boys will be boys” defense? Did Sen. Chambliss rape lots of women when in his early 20s because of hormones? It’s probably just the fault of 26,000 uneducated womens (and some men) complaining about sexual assault – don’t they know SCIENCE? Srsly, didn’t we learn from Erick Son of Erick how much the GOP knows about the biological order of men!

With rape-apologists like Chambliss, do we even need courts? If an 18-year-old is accused of brutally raping a superior officer, maybe Chambliss can just take the woman aside and say, “Honey, calm down and don’t get all hysterical. It’s all about hormones and nature and biology. Just have a cup of tea, and try to wear a longer skirt next time, k?”

And the GOP is definitely known for being careful and thoughtful, not rushing into any snap decisions based on barely known facts. I mean, imagine a few low-level military officers stationed in, I don’t know… pick a random city… Cleveland, Ohio. Let’s say they sexually harassed aconservative 501(c)4 organizationwoman. It’s not like the GOP would seek to abolish the Defense Department, haul the Joint Chiefs of Staff before Congress for hearings every day and demand the impeachment of President Obama, right? It's good to know that the GOP has the discipline to know when things need to change immediately, and when it is necessary to just chill out for a little while.

Let's definitely slow down and move protecting our military to the back burner so the focus can stay on important things like shouting about BENGHAZI!!1! on Sunday teevee shows. Stay classy, gentlemen.

[ Politico / The Atlantic Wire ]