politicize this

Good News! Massive Killer Tornadoes Just The Normal Kind, Not the Global Warming Kind (Updated)

probably because of gay marriage(See update at end) Blah blah blah, OF COURSE the meteorologist interviewed on MSNBC says today’s tornado that flattened Moore, Oklahoma, is the biggest tornado in the history of the planet. HE WAS ON MSNBC, DUH.

We have little of consequence to add beyond GENERAL FUCKING OUTRAGE!!!1! that we have BROKEN THE FUCKING WEATHER but Sarah Palin is still posting hilarious Facebook pix, like “SNOW? In ALASKA? Haw haw Al Gore suck my turgid penis!”

Oh, sorry, are we “politicizing” the report that up to 75 kids are trapped under debris in their Moore, Oklahoma, elementary school right now? Eat us. Oh, is the science not totally sure yet about tornadoes and climate change? Well we will just wait until 97 percent of scientists agree, then surely the GOP will get reasonable and stop blaming hurricanes on gay marriage, and we can all save the planet! Also, go fuck yourself.

Commie Mom is in Aunt Lynn’s storm shelter; she lives outside Tecumseh, which is outside Shawnee, which got creamed yesterday, while Moore, just south of OKC, was flattened today, and now Meeker, just north of Shawnee, is in the path.

So a hearty and generalized EAT SHIT to all you rancid piles of venality and blubber. We will start with Jim Inhofe, Oklahoma’s Greatest Senator, and his crusade against the climate change “hoax.” GO FUCK YOURSELF JIM.

And we will move on to these fine fellows, who say good news, none of this is actually happening!

And we will end with the Stupidest Man on the Internet, because fuck you.

That’s all we got, except that our Norman party, which is scheduled for June 18 (presuming Norman isn’t flattened in the meantime) will be a benefit for Habitat for Humanity. Bring your checkbooks, we’ll raffle off some shit.

UPDATE: Erick, Son of Erick, has weighed in, and has some comforting words of wisdom from the Bible:
And the LORD did say: Sux To be U, dude.

Or as terrible heathen Steve M translates: “Shorter Erick Erickson: Tornadoes are God’s will, so stop whining.” Also, no matter where you go, there you are.

(Updated by Doktor Zoom because Editrix is too angry to type anymore)

[Picture via @reportingricky]

Related

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.