Derp Needle not includedHey there, Pacific Northwest and maybe even British Columbian Wonkeetteers, and whatever sea lions ain’t busy eating all the salmon at the Bonneville Dam, mark your colanders for Saturday June 1, when we will gather at The Blarney Stone in beautiful downtown Seattle at 7 in the PM. We will sing union songs and pee in the potted plants!* Volunteer organizer weejee notes that it is convenient to something called “public transportation, which we wouldn’t know about, being from Idaho and all. There are rumors of karaoke beginning at 9 PM, before which time the assembled Wonkers will either decide on a less noisy location or just add the lyrics “exploding foamy pigshit” to every song.

Please note that this reader-organized event is not part of the officially-sponsored Wonk Your Brains Out Tour of Orgies and Drunkenness, so you have no one but yourselves to blame if it fails to be epic (it will, however, be epic). Be advised that there is a fair probability of photos being posted sideways at some point, but for the right payoff, the most embarassing ones can be quietly deleted.

Yr Doktor Zoom will be on hand, but will not, unfortunately, attempt to make the trip in his 1973 Chevy, Vlad the Impala, because this year we would actually like to make it all the way to Seattle. Baker City, Oregon is a fine little town, we guess, but we have no desire to stimulate the automotive-repair sector of its economy once again.

Finally, we feel kind of bad about the graphic nature of the video in that one weird post yesterday, so to make up for it, here is an adorable little pastel pony named Fluttershy, being adorable:

*We will definitely not pee in the potted plants.

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