Breitbart Says Obama To Force Pentagon To Feed Christian Soldiers To Lions, More Or Less

  Onward Christian Soldier ... To Jail

Christ, Jesus H.Oh dear lord, what is President Obummer making the Pentagon do now? Well, nothing, actually, but that has never stopped the conspiracy theorists at Breitbart from saying stuff anyway, so let’s see what they’ve pulled directly out of their asses today, shall we?

The Pentagon has released a statement confirming that soldiers could be prosecuted for promoting their faith: “Religious proselytization is not permitted within the Department of Defense…Court martials and non-judicial punishments are decided on a case-by-case basis…”.

The statement, released to Fox News, follows a Breitbart News report on Obama administration Pentagon appointees meeting with anti-Christian extremist Mikey Weinstein to develop court-martial procedures to punish Christians in the military who express or share their faith.

Is there an actual statement from the Pentagon? No. Is there even a link to Fox News? Hell no! Is that any reason to think this rumor that some jackhole with dial-up is claiming is not, like, The God’s Honest Truth? Hell no some more! After all, this is Breitbart we’re talking about, which is the newspaper of record for people who like to have all of their “news” based on forwarded emails from their batshit crazy uncles. And Uncle Batshit says Obama is going to make Jesus illegal in the military or something like that.

So President Barack Obama’s civilian appointees who lead the Pentagon are confirming that the military will make it a crime–possibly resulting in imprisonment–for those in uniform to share their faith.

 
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Sorry, but we missed the part where anyone is actually confirming this, but maybe the investigative journalist behind this story, Ken “Woodward AND Bernstein” Klukowski, who is actually a “senior fellow for religious liberty with the Family Research Council and on faculty at Liberty University School of Law,” accidentally left that part out? Oh, hey, Family Research Council. Why does that sound familiar? Oh right. Because in the paragraph directly above Klukowski’s little bio, he mentions that “FRC has launched a petition here which has already collected over 30,000 signatures, calling on Secretary Hagel is stop working with Weinstein and his anti-Christian organization to develop military policy regarding religious faith.” Ken is using his journamalism to promote a petition from his bosses at Family Research Council? What a total coinky-dink, huh?

So why is the entire far right-wing have a collective orgasm over this supposed persecution of the poor, down-trodden Christians who can never ever catch a break in this country? It seems to be based on this:

“The armed forces are on the verge of falling apart,” Larry Wilkerson, former chief of staff to Colin Powell, told me in an interview. Aside from proselytizing, he said, other problems include “sexual assault, suicides, lowering entrance standards and war weariness. They are in trouble, and the leadership is oblivious.” Sexual assault and proselytizing, according to Wilkerson, “are absolutely destructive of the bonds that keep soldiers together.”

Just because some people in the military love Jesus and want to talk about that, that’s, like, a bad thing now? How could that be a bad thing? Ah, here is an example:

A chaplain in Afghanistan recently was the target of complaint for sermonizing to troops, including Afghan soldiers, that they had approximately 2,000 days to live and needed to “get right with Jesus.”

That’s not actually a very nice thing to say to people, is it? Especially when some of those people might be, you know, not into Jesus, which is supposed to be okay in America (and American-occupied countries) because it says so in various founding documents about how the government cannot do religion to you, and last time we checked, the military was part of the government, but maybe Obama changed those rules too? But damn if those Bible-humpers don’t have their panties in a bunch about this “new” regulation (which is not actually new, but why nitpick?) that says you can’t force troops to pray to your chosen God, or any God, or tell them they need to “get right with Jesus.”

This regulation would severely limit expressions of faith in the military, even on a one-to-one basis between close friends.

Well, “one-to-one” expressions of faith sound a little gay to us, and we thought these dudes were against that too, but maybe even they know they have to pick their battles.

[Breitbart]

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