Hero GOP Senator’s Office Tells Gays To Go Grow Their Own Food and Gasoline

  here's one weird trick that gasoline companies hate!

There, gays, that should hold you!Washington state Senator Mike Hewitt is cosponsoring an awesome and superconstitutional antidiscrimination bill, SB 5927. It says you can’t discriminate against people based on their race, country of origin, sexual orientation, etc., unless you really really want to. Cool bill! Very awesome! You may not refuse to do commerce or real estate with someone who is gay or an immigrant or a veteran, unless Jesus told you not to do commerce or real estate with someone who is gay or an immigrant or a veteran. So then a Washingtonian fellow called Mike Hewitt’s office to be like WTF? And according to The Stranger, here is what happened next!

During the phone calls, he says he asked staffers some variation of the question “What are rural gays supposed to do if the only gas station or grocery store for miles won’t sell them gas and food?”

Castro says the staffer at Hewitt’s office surprised him with the answer “Well, gay people can just grow their own food.”

Then they hung up on him, and then they hung up on The Stranger about a million times, because “courage.”

But we think Mike Hewitt’s idiot staffer makes a lot of sense. If a gay lives in the city, he can probably find someone to take his filthy homosexual money. And if he is in the country, he can just have an artisanal cheese farm, and then barter with the lesbies up the road who have the artisanal honey and organic herb thingie, and then maybe they can find some Pakistani immigrants or whatever with their artisanal Pakistani mutton, and then they can all swap with the veteran who sells artisanal weaponry. As long as they can find someone to sell them the gasoline that gets them all around the state of Washington to do their fun pioneer-times bartering. Maybe they could barter for a horse and buggy?

 
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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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