Arkansas Senate Votes To Cut Sex Ed Funding So It Can Be No. 1 At Teen Pregnancy

Say this for Arkansas Republicans: They sure are ambitious! When they're not busy banning abortion over and over and over again , they are hard at work thinking up clever new ways to have more teen moms, please. Yes, Arkansas already has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the nation -- it's no New Mexico , of course, but it's pretty close. Still, those eager beavers aren't going to give up until they are No. 1:

The Arkansas state Senate passed a measure on Tuesday to defund Planned Parenthood and all other entities that provide abortions or patient referrals for abortions. The bill also cuts the funding for a Planned Parenthood-administered comprehensive sex education program in the state’s public high schools.

Ha! Take that, Planned Parenthood, with your programs that teach kids how to not get all knocked up and diseased and stay in school and get an education and learn about family planning so they can have a bright future and maybe grow up to be president one day or something. (Nah, there will probably never be a president from Arkansas. That's crazy talk.) And if it just so happens to lead to even more pregnant teens -- because they will do awkward back-of-the-car sexytime to each other, whether you teach them how to put on a condom first or not -- it's all worth it for the greater good of at long last putting a stop to the eleventy trillion taxpayer dollars that go to Planned Parenthood every year to pay for abortions. Except for one teeny tiny little itsy bitsy detail:

Despite the fact that Planned Parenthood does not currently receive any state funding for abortion care or family planning services, bill sponsor Republican state Rep. Gary Stubblefield and other supporters argue that it will prevent taxpayer money from paying for abortions.

Eh, whatevs. You can never be too careful when it comes to protecting the delicate taxpayers from having their money mingle with money that might have been handled by someone who once drove past a Planned Parenthood on their way to the Dairy Queen, right? Whew! Thank god for this new bill. Crisis averted! Erm, except for the teen pregnancy crisis Arkansas kind of has already that is probably about to get worse but that's okay because, you know, it's for the kids.

[ Salon ]