North Carolina Republican Loves Praying, But Only The Jesus Kind Because Otherwise It Is Terrorism

Dear sweet American Jesus who is all-knowing and all-powerful and loves capitalism and hates liberals, why do you let bad things like this happen in your name?

In an email exchange with a constituent, Republican state Rep. Michele Presnell of Burnsville was asked whether she was comfortable with a prayer to Allah before a legislative meeting. Presnell responded: “No, I do not condone terrorism.”

While our first instinct is of course to laugh at this dumb bigot lady -- which is a good instinct! -- we actually feel sort of sorry for her, and not just because she suffers from the same tragic affliction of not knowing how to spell her own name as fellow Republican Jesus freak Ms. Bachmann (no, not Marcus, the other Ms. Bachmann).

Also, it must be very hard to go through life giving answers to questions you weren't even asked, another condition from which she obviously suffers, since she thought she was asked whether she condones terrorism, to which "No, I do not condone terrorism" would have been the correct answer if that had actually been the question. Also some more, she's had a very tough week because her own back-stabbing party sank House Resolution 494, a bill she co-sponsored, which would have allowed North Carolina to tell the First Amendment to go fuck itself right in the ear:

The bill, filed Monday by two GOP lawmakers from Rowan County and backed by nine other Republicans, says each state "is sovereign" and courts cannot block a state "from making laws respecting an establishment of religion." [...]

The bill says the First Amendment only applies to the federal government and does not stop state governments, local governments and school districts from adopting measures that defy the Constitution. The legislation also says that the Tenth Amendment, which says powers not reserved for the federal government belong to the states, prohibits court rulings that would seek to apply the First Amendment to state and local officials.

Do you see now why state Rep. Michele Presnell deserves our sympathy instead of our scorn? All she wanted to do was ignore the U.S. Constitution and make Jesus-prayin' the official law of the land in North Carolina because, as she dumbsplained to her constituent, "We just need to start taking a stand on our religious freedom or it will be whisked away from us.” This is a real worry because, she explains, "The famed ACLU is telling Rowan County they may not pray before commissioners meetings." And that is wrong because there is nothing wrong with a little praying, unless it's to Allah, because that's terrorism, duh. Besides, Michele is just trying to save freedom is all, but since no good deed goes unpunished, now she's going to have the PC police -- aka, Muslims -- all up in her grill just for being a dumb bigot who equates a religion she doesn't understand with terrorism.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations issued a statement Wednesday calling for Presnell to be reprimanded.

"If the Republican Party hopes to reach out to minority groups, it must clearly and forcefully repudiate such bigoted comments by its representatives," CAIR National Legislative Director Corey Saylor said in the statement.

This is why we should pity Michele. You know, after we finish laughing at her for being a dumb bigot who doesn't understand the Constitution or even know how to spell her own name.

[ News & Observer / HuffPo ]