RNC Chair Reince Priebus Will Buy President Pizza, To Save Money, For Freedom

Wonklantans, perhaps you have been feeling relatively calm today? Perhaps your job or your hangover or your begging on the street or your turning tricks for money is not going so bad?? Well, Reince Priebus (pronounced "Fucking Dickwad") is here to up your rage levels to mission critical by blahblahblahing about how Bamz is spending too much of your hard-earned tax dollars to feed Republicans at fancy-type restaurants which is true except for the pesky fact that Bamz isn't actually doing that:  

Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus issued a statement Tuesday to complain that President Barack Obama and Senate Republicans will be dining at an "upscale restaurant"and offered to order the lawmakers pizza, even though the dinner scheduled for this week will be held at the White House.

As he did last month, Obama will break bread with Republican senators on Wednesday. In his statement, Priebus said that, in light of the budget cuts associated with sequestration, it would be hypocritical for the President to run up security costs by taking the lawmakers out for dinner. But unlike last month, when the bipartisan group dined at the Jefferson Hotel, Obama will be hosting the senators at the White House[.]

Let yr Wonkette be the first, but never ever the last, to say fuck you, Reince Priebus. This whinefoolery would be stupid enough if Bamz actually were taking your mouth-breathing colleagues to dine elsewhere, even though none of them are fit for public consumption. But Reince goes the extra mile here to actually invent a strawman to whine about.

He didn't stop there, though, you lucky readers. No, he decided to really run with the whole "feed 'em pizza" thing and turn it into a seething pile of mangle:  

If we’re lucky, maybe the pizza will serve to illuminate an important economic point for President Obama: instead of redistributing the slices, the best way to make everyone happy is to make the pie bigger. It’s as true for dinner as it is for economic growth and opportunity.”

First of all, every good wingnut knows you make the pie HIGHER , not bigger.  Jeez. We are also not certain how the GOP wants to make the pie bigger since what they really want to do is is give the slices to...oh, fuck this. We're not playing along with this tortured metaphor. We're going to spend the rest of the afternoon fapping to fantasies of cockpunching Priebus until he passes out and then waking him up and waterboarding him with slices of pizza.

[ Talking Points Memo ]