Two Hours! That's Long Enough To See A Movie!

Wingnuts Furious: Obama Tweeted About Roger Ebert’s Death More Quickly Than About Margaret Thatcher’s

Christ on a crutch!  It's Thatcher in a tank!Hey, guys, did you hear about how the Kenyan Usurper is pissing on the not-yet-dug grave of Margaret Thatcher? Thanks to the completely sane coverage at the “Christian” “News” “Service,” we know that the Chicago thug tweeted a brief message in response to the death of fellow Chicago thug Roger Ebert within 30 minutes of the news of Ebert’s death, while it took an unpardonable two hours for the White House to issue a statement in response to the death of Margaret Thatcher. Even worse, the White House Twitter feed did not link to the emailed statement until 40 minutes after the statement was released, precious minutes during which the Delta Force could have saved American lives. But Barack Obama stood idly by, doing nothing. INPEACH!

The only logical conclusion is that Barack Obama has some seriously twisted priorities, and will probably come in the night to take your guns, indoctrinate your children, and insist that you watch Citizen Kane in a movie theater because that’s the only way to experience it.

CNS News does not appear to have considered the possibility that a statement on the death of a movie critic takes far less time and requires fewer passes through the White House communications apparatus than a statement on the death of a former foreign leader, because only liberals ever watched The West Wing. No doubt it took a little extra time to come up with lines as hilarious as these:

As prime minister, she helped restore the confidence and pride that has always been the hallmark of Britain at its best. And as an unapologetic supporter of our transatlantic alliance, she knew that with strength and resolve we could win the Cold War and extend freedom’s promise.

Here in America, many of us will never forget her standing shoulder to shoulder with President Reagan, reminding the world that we are not simply carried along by the currents of history — we can shape them with moral conviction, unyielding courage and iron will.

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We look forward to Ben Shapiro reading that “iron will” bit as a clear Nazi reference that betrays Obama’s tyrannical desire to crush freedom forever.

It is not yet known whether the unspeakable two-hour delay between Thatcher’s death and Obama’s statement will lead to heightened tensions between the two nations. If only we had elected Mitt Romney, a man who really understood the “special relationship.”

[CNS]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

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