Spanking Lovers Sean Hannity and Michelle Malkin Worry That Sportsball Players Are Getting Too Wussy

So there was a sportsball thing that happened in the past couple days where a head coach of college basketsportsball got fired for providing college kids some teachable moments by kicking them, hitting them, throwing sportsballs at their heads, and calling them pretty much every homophobic slur you can think of. He sounds nice! Rational people, of course, responded with joy to the idea that a sportsball coach could be fired for actually straight-up assaulting students, but the good people of Fox News are not rational, and instead took this opportunity to wax nostalgic about their favorite ways to beat and get beaten and to explain how kids these days need to toughen up:

“I’m watching this and I’m thinking, ‘I don’t like it’ — he kicked one player there — but on the other hand, I kind of like old-fashioned discipline,” the Fox News host explained. “I mean, have we become that politically incorrect? These are adults, they don’t want to play for that team, they can leave....

“I can understand, stop hitting them maybe,” Hannity opined. “But I like the intensity, I like the drive, I like that he’s pushing those kids and he runs a tight ship. Maybe we need a little more discipline in society and maybe we don’t have to be a bunch of wimps for the rest of our lives.”

Sean Hannity is torn! On the one hand, he is not sure students should be kicked. On the other hand, he likes discipline! On the one hand, he thinks that maybe hitting students is bad. On the other hand, he likes discipline! Perhaps someone should explain to Mr. Hannity that there are plenty of places where he can get his discipline fantasies met in a safe consensual environment that does not involve unwilling college students?

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. As if sitting through Sean Hannity's back-and-forthing over whether discipline is good or just really really hot wasn't terrifying enough, you also get a walk down memory lane from both Hannity and shrieking harpy Michelle Malkin where they share their spanking secrets past and present with us. TRIGGER WARNING OH MY GOD BIGGEST TRIGGER WARNING EVER NO REALLY AN ACTUAL TRIGGER WARNING: You are getting close to the part of the link where there is a gif of Malkin miming spanking someone, complete with weird smirk. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED:

“My father hit me with a belt, I turned out okay!” the Fox News host exclaimed. “Except in the minds of liberals.”

“Same here!” Malkin said. “Oh, I certainly did. And with more than a belt. I’m sure the left thinks we are warped minds.”

“That’s a good thing,” Hannity noted. “If they liked me, I’d feel that things are really bad.”

“Well, I have to tell you, I’m much better at administering spankings now than receiving them,” Malkin concluded.

Well, if nothing else it is good to know that Michelle is comfortable with both topping AND bottoming in her BDSM-lite daddy-daughter fantasies.

Now that we've made it so you need to spend the rest of your afternoon steel wool scrubbing your brain to get THAT image out of your head, our work here is done.

[ Raw Story ]