Crusty pustule Donald Trump was obviously absent from school the day they taught children how to distinguish green from blue on maps. While his private team of investigators is still looking into whether Hawaii is in fact part of these United States, The Hair haz a confusion about borders too and how the fuck do they work? “Well, the border’s not secure, we don’t have secure borders anywhere,” Trump opined. “The border is secure from Europe.” And how massively stupid is that? The U.S.-Europe border is the only one America should keep open.
But please do elaborate, oh giant pool of talking lizard vomit:
“The Republicans are just absolutely rushing to do whatever they can to get out of the box they’re in,” the birther mogul explained. “And they’re going to make it possible for 11 million or 12 million illegals to become citizens. And I always warn them and I tell them all the time — they’re calling and asking my opinion — every single one of those 12 million people will be voting against the Republicans.”
Which Republicans are constantly calling up Donald Trump? (Answer: Mitt Romney is bored, okay?)
“If you come from certain parts of the world and you want to become a great, productive, wonderful citizen of this country, it’s virtually impossible. Now, if you’re an illegal and you’re here, they’re trying to find a pathway to citizenship.”
So If you come from “certain” (read: white) parts of the world, and you want to become a “great, productive, wonderful” (read: white) American citizen, well, you CAN’T because Homeland Security was smart enough to put an ocean between the U.S. and Europe. So now we will have eleventy bazillion brown Democrats and argle bargle SEND MORE WHITES NOW!
Sure, Republicans are now trying to look more friendly to the browns and have even declared that it is NOT OK to say “wetback” anymore, but, as Trump keeps trying to tell them, “those 12 million votes are going to the Democrats no matter what [Republicans] do, no matter how far out in front they are.” So, see, stop even trying to do immigration reform and let’s loosen up that border we have with Europe to let whitey finally have a chance at the ‘Murican Dream.