ohforfuckssake we cannot believe we are going to have to write about Obamaphones again. Everybody – and we mean EVERYBODY – has debunked the myth that these phones are just a giveaway to lazy shiftless welfare peoples AND explained that the program started with Saint Reagan. Apparently David Vitter didn’t get the memo, though, because diaper baby cosplay takes up a lot of time, so he’s still beating this dead horse to deadness:
I offered an amendment to the Senate budget last week that would have ended the free cell phone program and it was defeated. Can you believe that? The majority of the U.S. Senate is now on record supporting this free cell phone hand out program.
Rest assured, I will be trying to end the Obama phone bonanza with a stand-alone bill. But I need your help.
Great. Now your weird conservative uncle is going to forward this thing to you and that same conservative uncle is going to “like” this on Facebook because Facebook is now for the olds. Just quit Facebook, people, except for making sure you still like Wonkette.
Perhaps pre-emptively, before Uncle Angerbear even sends you the Vitter email, you should just direct him to www.snopes.com for a much more thorough debunking than you’re ever going to do because you are lazy. You can also send them to www.factcheck.org, which addressed this veritable mountain of stupid back in May 2012, when some other idiot Congresscritter was going to save the world and make more jobs by banning the Obamaphone:
Lifeline is funded by telecom customers who pay a universal service fee as part of their phone bills. The fee technically is not a tax but a cross subsidy, the rules of which are determined by the Federal Communications Commission…
Griffin, a freshman Republican representing parts of central Arkansas, released the Web video in early May. Griffin introduced his “Stop Taxpayer-Funded Cell Phones Act” in November 2011. The bill was referred to the House Subcommittee on Communications and Technology.
See?! You can explain to Cranky McUncle that it isn’t actually a fucking tax and he could avoid paying for phones for the lazies and the poors by NOT HAVING A PHONE but then he would probably explain to you that the Constitution guarantees him a phone under the Eleventyeth Amendment because his grasp of the Bill of Rights is tenuous at best.
You know what? Just skip talking to your uncle. Tell him you lost the internet forever because the government took it away and gave it to the poors and he’ll leave you alone.