Bryan Fischer Just Can’t Stop Thinking About Gays Having All The Gay Sex, Because Gay Sex Is So Gay And Wrong (Also Gay)

  needs more 'wriggling around in excrement'

Rainbow Dash is not amused by your asshattery, Mr. FischerBryan Fischer, Spokesweasel for the American Patriarchy Association and notorious power bottom, has a novel idea about the sudden popularity of all these gay people having rights as if they were actual Americans or something: He thinks that the only reason teh gheys have been making political headway lately is that Americans have not heard nearly enough information about the really gross things teh gheys do with their wieners and buttholes.

Seriously, gay Americans of the homosexual variety, do any of you spend even one third the time thinking about gay sex that Bryan Fissure clearly does? We think maybe he is kind of obsessed, if you know what we mean (and we think you do).

It also strikes us as a happy coincidence (“happy” in this case meaning “we need to pad this post just a little…oh, here’s something tangentially related!”) that a porn website (link NFSW) has compiled some sketchy statistics about this burning question: What do you type into porn search engines? (Link to a semi-SFW article about the search results).

This vital research, unencumbered by trivial factors like “careful research design” or “validity,” basically just linked the search terms typed into “PornMD” with the geographical information from users’ IP addresses, so that now we know that, at this one porn site at least, Californicators’ top search term is “Asian,” while Minnesotans are much more into “college.” The American Family Association is headquartered in Tupelo, Mississippi, which is one of the seven former Confederate states where PornMD’s top porn search term is “ebony.” Does this indicate a preference for miscegenation fantasies among white porn aficionados, or the preferences of black residents in those states, or some combination thereof? Why does PornMD’s “study” not have an “implications for further research” section?

In any case, here is Bryan Fischer going all P-E-N-I-S in the ANUS on his dumb radio show for you all.

We will leave aside discussing how acceptance of heterosexuality might be affected by a detailed discussion of what Christians think about sex, because, eew, gross.

[RightWingWatch / xojane]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his pseudonym after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

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