We have spent some time during this journey through our worldly vale of tears defending the gargantuan mansions of both Albert Gore and Husband of the Millennium John Edwards. You know, stuff like, “Hey, John Edwards made those kajillions helping people get justice and also eat shit Tucker Carlson just on principle” and “Al Gore can do whatever the fuck he wants for the rest of his blessed life, because we owe him one for voting for Nader.”
But Chelsea Clinton, although a lovely young woman, has yet to impress us with anything she has brought to this world. She is arguably less good at her “job” than JC Penneys Boys Department Catalogue Model Luke Russert, if also less visibly pleased with herself about her complete lack of charisma and talent. Therefore, we are not inclined to apologize for her coming purchase of a $10.5 million, 5,000-square-foot NYC pad overlooking Madison Square Park. Five and a half bathrooms, for a childless couple in their 30s, is fucking unseemly, Chelsea and whoever your husband is. Readers, let us get our knives and forks at the ready, for the ritual Eating of the Rich, after the jump!
Here is Chelsea and DH’s guest bath, maybe.
Here is an office, like an office that might be in Chelsea’s new pad, so DH can do whatever moneysucking thing he does for which he should probably, just on principle, be in jail.
Here is a modest guest room, for “mother in law” types, like what Chelsea and dude might have in their not at all horrible and frankly fucking disgusting new home.
And there you have it! Sharpen your pikes, everyone. Anne Boleyn heads are harder to stuff on there than you might think!