It is time for pope-choosing and magick, and Peggy Noonan has once again taken to the pixels of the Wall Street Money-Changers’ Gazette to Opine and feel the Breath of God. But ho! Some hooligans go on the picture-box and criticize the Church and throw out words like “celibacy” and “pedophile” when discussing it! And Peggy Noonan will not allow this to stand! Oh, it isn’t that she hasn’t criticized the Church her own self; she knows there have been Dark Days. But the proper way to criticize the Church, according to Sister Mary Margaret, ruler out and at the ready, is with affection and fear of the Lord and “due esteem.” So, pretty much on one’s knees, then. Thank you, Sister, may we have another?
Sister Peggy does go on and on, as you would imagine when the subject can turn even glancingly upon John Paul II, her second-favorite trade unionist. But mostly she is quite NOT HAVING IT that anyone might presume to tell another religion what to do. (It does not seem to occur to her that many of the Church’s most ardent critics might in fact be members of the Church?) She would not tell a Lutheran what to do, she says, or an Orthodox Jewish! Well, hmmm. Here at Wonket we would tell both those faiths what to do, and have! Because sometimes lots of religions are shitty!
We will leave Sister Mary Margaret with her penultimate paragraph, before, for some reason, she starts chanting fervent incantations about Anne Boleyn’s beheading.
But when they just prattle on with their indignant words—gender, celibacy, irrelevant—well, they’re probably not trying to be constructive. One might say they’re being vulgar, ignorant and destructive, spoiled too. They think they’re brave, or outspoken, or something. They don’t have enough insight into themselves to notice they’d never presume to instruct other great faiths. It doesn’t cross their minds that if they were as dismissive about some of those faiths they’d have to hire private security guards.
Oh, did you get that last line? Peggy Noonan is telling us to be gentle in our criticisms of other faiths, and then calling Muslims violent terrorists. She is nothing if not subtle!
And an asshole. She is nothing if not subtle and an asshole. Also. Too.