Sarah Palin Wants You To Un-Commercialize Christmas By Buying Her Stupid Christmas Book

  palinspeak

now we know what happened to promzerelliWhen the irrelevant get desperate, its time to fight straw-men, or things we put straws in, and what mythical enemy is more mythical than The War On Christmas! In a maniacal effort to appeal to the panic-stricken, anxiety-riddled, look-at-my-faith lording, self-pitying element of stupid white people upset about the blah President, Sarah Palin is now wrapping herself in the flagness of a Christmas book! It was already ridiculous when the Reason for the Season – making moneys! – expanded from its original post-Thanksgiving start date and crept all the way up to Halloween – so, how about March? Don’t we need to talk about a Christmas book in March?

Still, it’s been a few minutes since she has said anything this nonsensical. It’s worth a look –

“Amidst the fragility of this politically correct era, it is imperative that we stand up for our beliefs before the element of faith in a glorious and traditional holiday like Christmas is marginalized and ignored,” Palin said in a statement released through her publisher. “This will be a fun, festive, thought provoking book, which will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas.”

Amazing. Frumious Bandersnatch Sarah Palin, whilst brillig in the slithy toves, has managed to take a topic that has been so over-done, so worn out, so beat down that even the horse is glad it is dead – and make it dumber. She is now jumping the shark and lion tank on Fonzi’s motorcycle with the Great Gazoo and Scrappy Doo sitting behind her, screaming. Do you think she has a word a day calendar? Fragility. That’s a good word! Especially here, because NOTHING is more fragile than the fragility of this politically correct era and imperatives are a thing, also too, and something-something let’s us “Christ-ians” make EVERYONE say Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays or the whole country is Scrooged.

According to the double-plus good George Orwell, “The writer either has a meaning and cannot express it, or he inadvertently says something else, or he is almost indifferent as to whether his words mean anything or not. This mixture of vagueness and sheer incompetence is the most marked characteristic of modern English prose, and especially of any kind of political writing. As soon as certain topics are raised, the concrete melts into the abstract and no one seems able to think of turns of speech that are not hackneyed: prose consists less and less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning, and more and more of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse.” No shit, George. It’s hard to believe he never even had to read a word she said.

Palin also “will share personal memories and traditions from her own Christmases and illustrate the reasons why the celebration of Jesus Christ’s nativity is the centerpiece of her faith.” Here’s hoping there’s a pic of when the unmarried and preggers Bristol got to play Mary that one year when Sarah wasn’t hoggin’ up all the baby-making.

[TPM]

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