World Net Daily After School Special

Dennis Prager Urges Kids To Take Up Tobacco In Place Of Their Marijuana Cigarettes

Weed Orgy!
Marijuana! The magical plant that is both directly responsible for over 85% of the original content found in the blogosphere and happens to be the root of all evil. Previous generations of Americans obtained their pot by growing it in their closets or buying gasoline-infused ditch weed from their sketchy cousin posted up in the 7-11 parking lot, and both options have been incredibly stimulative for America’s thriving prison industrial complex. However, now some states are actively experimenting with full fledged legalization, or at least a distributive model based on a user’s medical necessity (e.g. combating PTSD induced by reading right wing blogs all day).

Most of the country either enthusiastically endorses this movement or offers a hearty “meh.” But those people are dirty satan-worshiping hippies who also probably support equally detestable ideas like gay marriage or universal background checks on gun purchases. Luckily there is still a person speaking for real America, where “getting high” is limited to giving money to the 700 Club (or crystal meth), and that voice is ready to warn us all of how liburlz are getting ready to herd us all into FEMA Dispensaries of doom.

Yes Dennis Prager, one of the myriad indistinguishable angry white men with the phrase “syndicated radio host” as their job title, took to the eminent Turner Diaries fanfic message board known as World Net Daily to discuss his thoughts on a local TV report from Denver concerning weed that SHOCKED him. Apparently high school students for the first time EVER in US history are smoking drugs. Thanks Obama.

The massive increase in both the number of users and the amount of marijuana used by young people is precisely what I, and many others, predicted. It was easy to predict. When something desirable is made easier to obtain, more people will obtain it. It is difficult to imagine an exception to this common-sense observation.

WHY DID WE NOT LISTEN TO DENNIS PRAGER WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE? The man goes through all the trouble of making an online for profit “University” in his name for the sole purpose of teaching us through youtube clips praising Calvin Coolidge or featuring Adam Carolla lecturing on “emotional growth” and we just got high and ignored Prager’s advice. How could we have been so foolish?

So, legalizing marijuana is foolish because it leads to far more use of the drug and the availability of ever more potent forms. But the foolishness doesn’t end there. Equally foolish is that as a society we have made peace with marijuana while making war on tobacco. This has been a classic example of upside down thinking, and we are reaping exactly what we have sown. We have produced a generation of young Americans who would never put a cigarette or cigar near their lips but who increasingly get high on pot.

Stupid fucking children listening to adults and abstaining from tobacco! How many people must endure the suffering of spending hours watching Bob’s Burgers while eating ice cream when they could be enjoying the absolute freedom that is being tethered to an oxygen tank while desperately calling out for your nurse on a mechanical larynx. This war on tobacco, the life enhancing substance that is only universally available to people over the age of 18, must end so that we can can devote the resources necessary to throw cancer patients in jail for daring to control their nausea with marijuana.

Yes, tobacco – specifically cigarettes – kills, and marijuana doesn’t. But, forgive the ultimate political incorrectness, young people would do much better in life if they smoked tobacco rather than weed.

Oh boy life lessons from a man who makes his living grifting Islamaphobes. This should be interesting.

First, tobacco doesn’t kill young people. When it kills, it generally kills much older people. Moreover, according to a recent issue of the New England Journal of Medicine, if you stop smoking cigarettes by age 44, you will lose only one more year of life than a person who never smoked.

Boy that’s an interesting statistic from a reputable source. Too bad Prager didn’t link to it, because it seems that the article he is citing might be this one titled “New Evidence That Cigarette Smoking Remains the Most Important Health Hazard,” and it says the exact opposite of what Prager is claiming. But sorry we interrupted your insane pontification against a harmless intoxicant;

Second, regular pot smokers increasingly tune out of life, becoming what are known as potheads, or, to put it bluntly, losers.

You hear that, every person elected President since 1992? Your regular pot smoking ruined your ambition and turned you into a groveling mess of a human being who probably spends all their time commenting on snarky anal sex blogs instead of working. You could have been somebody if you had just stuck to cigarettes like the nice Camel in sunglasses told you to do.

For myriad reasons, then, I would far prefer my teenager indulge in cigarettes – not to mention cigars – than pot. Anyone who thinks that pot is less harmful to a teenager than tobacco is fooling himself – and his teenager.

Someone get Prager his Father of the Year mug so he can tap the ash from his big brown dick into it.

If this is not obvious, ponder these questions: Would you rather your airplane pilot smoke pot or tobacco while flying? How would Britain have fared in World War II if Winston Churchill had smoked pot instead of cigars?

Yes who hasn’t thought of the entirely obvious question of what would have happened in WWII if Churchill had been a pot smoker instead of a horrendous alcoholic and glutton whose disgusting racism and abysmal personality resulted in him being summarily kicked out of office once the war was over. Furthermore, while most people who have been on a plane since 1970 would be disturbed by a pilot smoking anything given the whole “federal law bans smoking on a plane” warning that they announce on the PA system, Prager’s point on this matter is crystal clear. And what is that point? Well, don’t strain yourself figuring it out (as Prager certainly didn’t):

What the left has done to America’s youth in the last 40 or so years is so damaging as to be unforgivable. They have ruined public school education; left them with so much debt that they will likely be the first American generation to live materially inferior to the their parents; and robbed their innocence with sex education classes, now beginning in kindergarten in Chicago and elsewhere. Now they are making marijuana available to more kids and in greater potency than ever before.

But they have left them with higher self-esteem.

Ah the wingnut version of “screw Flanders.” Prager seems to have run out of creative ways to defame recreational pot users and decided to fill up space with a series of non sequiturs that activate the adorable rage boners of WND readers. But the last sentence of this hilariously disjointed polemic of derp leaves one big question about Prager’s prohibitioninst bona fides. Is Dennis Prager a huge “Half Baked” fan?

[WND]

Related

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.