Howdy pardner! Don’t know if you done heard, but we got us a see-quester goin’ on, and that means we ain’t got no cashish for thangs like White House Tours. So Pres’dent Bama, he said, well we will stop this here tour from happenin’ until the see-quester is lifted, because a some reason, who knows. But if there is one thing our good ol’ boys will fight to the death for, remember the Alamo, it is that their constituents not get all p-o-ed bout goin’ all the way to Washinton and then not gettin’ to see Nancy Reagan’s chiner. So Texas Republican Louie Gohmert, who definitely ain’t no idiot, introduced an amendment to the continuing resolution (budget stuff) sayin’ that as long as there weren’t no White House tours, Ol’ Pres’dent Hippity-Hop couldn’t use no taxpayer money to play him no golf. This brings up some innerestin consti-tu-tional questions: Like, if the House can decide Pres’dent Blacky there cain’t use his plane to go play golf, does that mean they can also decide he cain’t use his plane to go give speeches ifn it’s a topic they don’t like? Ifn there’s a golf course near that ol White House, does that mean he cain’t use his car? Can good ol Louie Gohmert decide Pres’dent Hugo Chavez cain’t use no Secret Service protection ifn he wants to take a walk? Can we decide just to lock ol Pres’dent Stalin in the White House forever? Sure, why not, don’t see no harm in it.
In a House floor speech, Gohmert said he filed the amendment with the House Rules Committee.
“None of the funds made available by a division of this act may be used to transport the president to or from a golf course until public tours of the White House resume,” the amendment reads.
“That way we will both work together so the president will not able to take a golf outing that causes 341 more federal officials to be furloughed and lose their job at least temporarily,” Gohmert said.
Blah blah blah, Louie Gohmert. “Reason reason reason.” All we hear is that you shore do wish you could place the president under house arrest. Because not allowing a nation’s president to leave his four walls is the essence of democracy, unlike the tyranny of a Democratic House and Senate passing things proposed by a twice-elected Kenyan Tyrant Dictator Hugo Chavez Usurper you don’t like.