anger management

Let’s All Have A Heart Attack Along With Bill O’Reilly

You probably don’t want to watch this video, above, of Bill O’Reilly LOSING HIS FUCKING SHIT all over Alan Colmes. Your beautiful mind, and etc. But if for some reason you feel your blood pressure is dangerously low, or you want to see what it looks like when a man is confronted with his own epistemic closure, by all means click the clicky.

So first Bill O’Reilly is wondering why Obama could possibly want to flip the House to the Democrats. I mean, what sense does that make? And Alan Colmes is all like, well sure he does, but your assumption that he deliberately wants to hurt the country to do so is not actually factual. (Alan Colmes leaves out the part where that is the stated intent of Mitch McConnell.) Then Bill O’Reilly is like, Bamz never even does anything anyway, and Monica Crowley is all “pssst, socialized medicine.” Then Bill O’Reilly muses that you can’t make a deal with Indian-givin’ Obama, and Alan Colmes points out that he offered $2.5 in cuts for every dollar in new revenues. And Bill, being on the losing end of an argument with a fact, starts a-screamin’ and a-yellin’ and a-“liar”-callin’ and says it is Obama’s responsibility to put out a table of solutions of programs he would cut, and not the House or the Senate’s job, and NAME ONE PROGRAM HE WOULD CUT, and Alan Colmes says “Social Security and entitlements,” and Bill O’Reilly has a rage-stroke and dies.

Then at the end he apologizes for calling Alan Colmes a “liar” — “I shouldn’t have said that” — but not for being a Scary Abusive Husband demanding to know why the UPS guy was talking to you.

O’Reilly: Did I go a little overboard?

Colmes: No, I think it was great!

Of course he does. Fucking Colmes.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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