What has two thumbs he has not yet shot off and really loves guns? The answer is this fucking guy, Mr. Colion Noir. This lovable gun-and-baseball-cap enthusiast is now starring in an ad for the NRA and has become a sort of mascot for white people desperate to equate the right to own as many 100+ 30 round mags and 150 round drums as they want with the rights of black people to be treated like human beings.
Mr. Colion Noir is something of a YouTube celebrity. He has his own channel where he has posted almost 200 videos, mostly of himself firing different guns, talking about the stupid justifications the pro-gun control folks give for wanting to take away his guns, and also reviewing The Walking Dead, a show that is sort of a gun lover’s wet dream of reasons for why they should get all the guns they want. Because you never know when the government will turn the vast majority of the population into raging, bloodthirsty zombies.
Now, normally the sight of a black man firing all sorts of semi-automatic weapons causes white conservatives to piss themselves and invade the comment threads at Free Republic to complain about Those People. Or they will suddenly decide they are okay with a little gun control after all. But when that same black man speaks the language of the poor victimized, put-upon gun owner? When he says that inner-city violence is not a gun problem, but a cultural one? Welcome to the club, sonny!
Because Mr. Colion Noir’s videos where he talks about gun rights are just him staring into the camera jabbering dully about whatever stupid misunderstanding of history is running through his fevered brain while wearing the baseball cap of some major league baseball team or other, the NRA decided to spice things up for the ad. They chopped up his videos, added some vaguely hip-hoppish music, and threw in some scary graphics like “Washington Elitism” and “Media Malpractice” while Mr. Colion Noir straight-up gets realz with y’all about a few what-whats. We could literally break Wonkette refuting his terrible pro-gun arguments, but we would rather let you guys do it in the comments (please do not break your Wonkette!).