Breaking News Drudge Siren Red Alert And Such: Fidel Castro Still Not Dead

The New York Times reports that Fidel Castro is still alive, and will outlive every other current and former "presidente" on the planet.

In addition, no American diplomats have been ousted from the island nation, or even from any of its dog associations, since this unfortunate incident in 2001. This is mostly because we don't have any diplomats there, really, besides whoever's job it is to post the propaganda from the "US Interests Section" and stuff.

In addition, US Amercia never managed to give Castro cancer or get his mouth on one of those wacky essploding cigars. [ NYT ]