oppressing the straights

All Logic And Reason Still Says Gay Marriage Is Gross

Televisions are for queersWe thought maybe it was time for a quick reminder about the whole “gay marriage” issue, as it’s been a while since somebody said something hyperbolic about it, and we were worried that perhaps you’d forgotten how horrible gay marriage was, and about how letting two people fill out some legal paperwork is the exact same thing as getting in a time machine, traveling back to Canterbury 1170, and personally sword-murdering Thomas Becket.

Luckily, some radio geniuses have helped us out, and we can bring you, in technicolor pixels, their prophetic radio ramblings.

Our first radio genius is Mario Diaz, who was representing the Concerned Women Of America, presumably because all of the Women were off furrowing their brows and commenting on Huffington Post articles:

With truth on our side we most definitely can make sure that our children’s future is protected, God can do it. I know that conventional wisdom says out there that we are losing this fight and there is no use in fighting anymore but we don’t have that luxury. We believe that the destruction of this institution established by God will mean the destruction of freedom and liberty.

First of all, the CWA’s legal counsel seems really invested in his client. As for his statement, all he wants is for us to say LETTING PEOPLE DO THINGS is “the destruction of freedom and liberty.” It’s the classic church-people argument: If the Bible says not to do something, and people do that something, it is destroying religious freedom. But if the Bible says not to do something, and people are then not allowed to do that something, that’s not oppressing them, that’s a moral society. In a moral society, the only thing that can be oppressed is the Bible. All others who feel oppressed are sinners.

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Time for radio genius number two, who is one of the most famous radio geniuses in the country — Tony Perkins!

Under a new statewide directive, Massachusetts officials are rolling out the welcome mat to cross-dressing students by banning everything from gender-based sports teams to sex-specific bathrooms. And anyone who doesn’t like it had better keep quiet–or else. If a student so much as refers to a peer by their biological sex, it’s “grounds for discipline.” And people wonder why families are pulling their children out of public school! Maybe, you’ve fallen for the lie that same-sex marriage won’t affect you. Well, it may take teenage boys invading girls’ locker rooms to prove it. Redefining marriage is about a lot more than two people who love each other.

Ah. Ok. Well let’s start by noting that there is absolutely no link between transgender kids in Massachusetts and gay marriage EVERYWHERE, but if you think that’s a big deal than you are nothing but a homo enabler who is going to let TERRORISTS into girls’ locker rooms. Mark Tony’s words, yes, because it’s going to be like if Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was in Porky’s.

Either way, you should be very angry that Massachusetts is clarifying rules that affect transgender kids, because really, what are they doing in school anyway? If your gender identity doesn’t match your biological sex, you should never be allowed to go to the bathroom, which is what the Massachusetts rules are referring to. In fact, if you’re one of the transgender weirdies, you probably shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house.

Like Tony said, no WONDER parents are taking their kids out of public schools! People there have… differences, and believe in weird things like “evolution” and “algebra.” Parents shouldn’t have to take kids out of public schools to protect them from humans whom they disapprove of based on random prejudices they have made up in their heads — those icky people should just get booted. Otherwise, you are destroying freedom and liberty.

[Right Wing Watch]

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