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FeloniousMonk's avatar

That confused me too. I eventually figured out that his excuse was was that he meant to say something fitting the template "If you're bashful, then <something improbable>". Me, I'd probably fill in the blank with "I'm a monkey's uncle" or "I'm the king of Siam". To him, apparently, the obvious thing is "I've got a big dick", but he toned it down to something about snakes. Trying to explain himself, he comes up with something that only makes sense when you realize that an acre of land in the Everglades is hard to find. This is a natural idiom to people in Connecticut. Screw him. To put together the best suggestions so far, horsewhip him, tar and feather him, and ride him out of town on a rail.

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FeloniousMonk's avatar

Won't you view my collection of stamps? All unperforated.

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