It is with heavy heart yr Wonkette pens this post. Yes, the time is nigh, Wonkfriends. We’ve been so sure the end times were approaching, and now they are here. Today, the world as we know it ends with the most pathetic whimper ever, wherein yr Wonkette is forced to agree with Pat Buchanan:
On Monday, [Jennifer] Rubin declared that America’s “greatest national security threat is Iran.” Do conservatives really believe this?
How is America, with thousands of strategic and tactical nuclear weapons, scores of warships in the Med, Persian Gulf, Arabian Sea and Indian Ocean, bombers and nuclear subs and land-based missiles able to strike and incinerate Iran within half an hour, threatened by Iran?
First things first. Before we have our agree-fest with a Civil War loving Holocaust-minimizing conservative columnist, let us soothe ourselves by pointing out his errors. Do conservatives really believe that Iran is waiting to murder us all? Yes, yes, and yes! OK, now that we’ve got that out of our system, let’s get to agreeing:
Iran has no missile that can reach us, no air force or navy that would survive the first days of war, no nuclear weapons, no bomb-grade uranium from which to build one. All of her nuclear facilities are under constant United Nations surveillance and inspection.
YES! In your FACE, Jennifer Rubin. Listen to this old racist anti-Semite school you ’bout Muslins and the absurdity of making up threats where there just aren’t none.
Paddy boy also takes this opportunity to remind us that he was totally fucking right about Iraq and drop some geopolitical knowledge that we, regrettably, again totally agree with:
Today’s Iraq is a direct consequence of our war, our invasion, our occupation. That’s our crowd in Baghdad, cozying up to Iran.
And the cost of that war to strip Iraq of weapons it did not have? Four thousand five hundred American dead, 35,000 wounded, $1 trillion and 100,000 Iraqi dead. Half a million widows and orphans. A centuries-old Christian community ravaged. And, yes, an Iraq tilting to Iran and descending into sectarian, civil and ethnic war. A disaster of epochal proportions.
But that disaster was not the doing of Barack Obama, but of people of the same semi-hysterical mindset as Ms. Rubin.
We’d probably have called her “batshit hysterical” or “threat-level-red hysterical” or “completely fucking hysterical” because we are bloggers who lack decorum, but otherwise we’re pretty solidly in agreement with Pat Buchananananan.
You’ll have to excuse us now. We’re going to go give ourselves one of those Silkwood-type showers to steel wool away the shame of this post.