Glenn Reynolds Will Rescue The Lost Boys From The Tyranny Of MILF Island

Glenn "Instapundit" Reynolds, who splits his time between peddling survival equipment on his blog and stroking what can in no way be interpreted as a giant black phallus,is also a rather notable country lawyer with access to the USA Today. So what did Reynolds choose to publish this week in America's preferred paper for cleaning up vomit in a hotel room? Was it another in-depth episode of "Glenn Reynolds: Body Language Detective?" No, instead, readers were treated to another episode in Glenn's never ending series of "bitches be ruining everything" in the hopes that Glenn can finally avenge his loss to a girl in the 1969 election for class president of the 4th grade.

But now there's another reason for parents to think about moving their children out of public schools -- the boys. It seems that teachers -- overwhelmingly female -- just might be prejudiced against boys and it's hurting their grades.

Stereotyped as "naughty," boys quickly learn that they are thought of as dumber and more trouble than girls. And that has consequences. "When boys aged seven to eight were told that they tend to do worse at school than girls, they scored more poorly in reading, writing and mathematics tests than those who were not primed for failure. And telling children aged six to nine before a test that both sexes were expected to do equally well improved the boys' performance." But the message that boys get is that they're not as smart.

So telling kids that they are fuckups is a bad idea if you want them to succeed? But how else will they learn to rise above mediocrity and succeed in the glorious market-based utopia that Reynolds envisions for us? WHY ARE YOU BOWING TO THE SELF ESTEEM CULTS, GLENN?

The way boys are treated in K-12 also impacts how they do with regard to college. According to a recent study of male college enrollment, it's not academic performance, but discipline that holds boys back. "Controlling for these non-cognitive behavioral factors can explain virtually the entire female advantage in college attendance for the high school graduating class of 1992, after adjusting for family background, test scores and high school achievement." Boys are disciplined more because teachers -- overwhelmingly female -- find stereotypically male behavior objectionable. Girls are quieter, more orderly, and have better handwriting. The boys get disciplined more, suspended more and are turned off of education earlier.

So the overuse of suspensions can be blamed entirely on the fact that teachers, who happen to have vaginas, are inherently picking on boys just because they insist on lighting their farts on fire instead of taking notes in math class? That's some quality analysis right there, Professor.

Now, if Glenn had used his Westlaw account for more than ten minutes to write this dreck, he might have stumbled upon the plethora of articles discussing the actual problem of "Zero Tolerance" disciplinary policies and how they have decimated the academic careers of many students in the last 20 years. However, in acknowledging the inherent racism that went into designing those draconian policies, Glenn might have had to modify his main thesis concerning feminazi teachers to instead address the systemic problems in our juvenile justice system (which puts his internet-libertarian brain at risk of overheating). But don't worry, Glenn has a fantastically trolltastic idea to solve this imaginary problem:

As parents become more and more concerned about their children's futures and educations -- public schools that want to hold on to students or new-model schools that want to lure them away -- may want to boost the number of male teachers on staff. Doing so may be crucial not only to their students' futures, but to their own.

And if they don't, it may be time for state and federal officials to look into this gender imbalance. If schoolteachers were overwhelmingly male and girls were suffering as a result, there would be a national outcry and Title IX-style gender equity legislation would be touted. Why should we do less when boys are the ones suffering?

Glenn has taken a look at the one job besides prostitution in this country that has traditionally been dominated by women and sees the greatest injustice EVAH because our nation's Bart Simpsons are being asked to please stop reenacting scenes from Jackass during Sharing Time. He then advocates for laws to require public schools to hire more men using the sort of Federal Power that Reynolds thinks is blatantly unconstitutional, during a time that these same institutions are shedding jobs thanks to the idiotic economic policies that Reynolds advocates. There is concern trolling and then there is INSTAPUNDIT-ING.

[ USA Today ]